Monday 22 April 2013

Choose Your Friends Wisely...

One of the ways God speaks to us is through other people.

Dr Cloud and Dr John (2005) wrote in their book, that people who rise to the top seldom get there alone. They seek help from others.

The Book of Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 states that, “Two are better than one.  If one falls down, his friend can help him up.  But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”

When one is going through challenges, I would encourage you to ask God to send the right friends and right companions that will support you, not a friend that just want to be invasive and share your problems with other people for mockery and to gossip.

When you pray to God to send the right friends, God will send people that will show up in your life just at the right time. They will support you, pray with you and pray for you at all times.

Here are some key qualities to look for when you select your companions;

Wisdom: Acknowledge that you do not have all the knowledge in the world and there are people through whom God can speak to you. These people will listen to you thoroughly with the aim to understand you and not just to offer advice based on assumptions. They should also be people that have good character, people that will be able to discern the truth and people that hear from God.  The bible says that, “whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools suffer harm” (Proverbs 13:20 ESV version).

Experience: Look out for people that have been through the problem that you are going through or know someone that has gone through what you are going through.

Values:  Seek out for people that share similar values with you, morally, spiritually and culturally.  Avoid those people who ignore God’s Word!  Shares values that will improve your Christian walk,  Proverbs 27:17 states that “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”

Honest People:  Seek out for honest people who are not afraid to correct you in love when you are wrong and wouldn't leave out also praising you when you are right. Proverbs 27:5-6, “Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

Supportive People:  Look out for people that will encourage you when you are down, someone that will build your courage and some one that will love you when you do not feel you are loved. Proverbs 17:17 says “ A friend always loveth always”.  Someone that will ask you direct questions about your challenges and problems, and someone that will also ask about the help that you need.

Do you have above people within your circle of friends?  Do you as an individual have the above qualities to support your friends when they are going through challenges and difficulties? Or do you have the below traits that our companions should not have?

These are the traits that we must avoid in our lives and in our friends’ lives;

A Gossip: God does not want us to gossip. The scripture says in Proverbs 11:13 – “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret”  (NIV) .  Also in 1 Timothy 5:13 – “Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to” (NIV) .

Comfortable with Evil:  The scripture says in Ephesians 5:11 that, we should have nothing to do with the useless works that darkness produces. Instead, expose them for what they are.

Worldy: Comfortable in participating in things that are against God’s instructions.  The bible says that whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God (James 4:4).  We however have the option of choosing Christian friends that will enhance our faith in God, people with good qualities.

Anger Problems: The book of Proverbs 22:24-25 reminds us not to be angry and it also states that “Don’t make friends with quick-tempered people or spend time with those who have bad tempers.If you do, you will be like them. Then you will be in real danger”.

Choose Your Friends Wisely, pray to God for direction in choosing the right friends. Tell God to divinely direct you to the right people not the wrong people.  Engaging with the wrong people is likely to be detrimental to your progression in life and it may also impact on your emotional well-being.

-Myss Lafunky

Enjoy your week!

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  1. Thank you for putting this up. How can somebody help friends that has those traits that you said should be avoided? Should I just separate myself from them? Also i myself still need help with gossiping

    1. Thank you for your comment.

      The truth is, God wants us to avoid people with such traits, the scripture says in James 4:4 that: 'So, you are not loyal to God! You should know that loving the world is the same as hating God. Anyone who wants to be a friend of the world becomes God’s enemy'(NCV).

      It's either we choose friendship with people with such traits and be hated by God. In the case that you cannot avoid friends with such traits, you have to learn to correct such friends in love and you have to ensure that, you are not influenced easily.

      I just thought of something, are the above traits (the ones that we are to avoid) prevalent in the people of the world (as stated in the Bible)?

      From my perspective, I believe it is prevalent in the lives of Christians. However, it is only prevalent in the lives of Christians that they have not allowed the old nature to die.

      In terms of gossiping, I am also working on it.

      In other not to gossip, one must make conscious efforts not to engage in gossiping.

      Below points are currently helping me to avoid gossiping:

      How would the other person feel if they find out that I have been gossiping about them?

      How would I feel if I discover that someone was gossiping about me?

      If I wouldn't say something directly to a person, I must not say it to other people.

      If I can't say something nice, I must not say it at all.

      Change the subject or avoid the conversation when someone around you is gossiping.

      Speak positive about the person being gossiped about.

      Also, we are to remember that, we can't change the people that we are gossiping about, we can only change ourselves.

      There's a saying that says: 'Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people'.