Monday 30 December 2013

My Highlight and Your Highlight! Lets Go!

Hi Readers and Followers,

This is my last post for this year. It has been a great year. Let me not deceive you, while it has been a great year, it has also been a year that I learnt some life principles, which initially appeared difficult but I can look back now and smile. Praise Jesus!

  • What do you consider has the most memorable post or the post that you found inspired from my 1st Year of blogging? 
  • What was your best highlight for this year? 
  • What are you looking forward to? 

My Answers:
1) The posts that I enjoyed writing and I also found informative for my personal development are:
  • Why do you have to trim me? 
  • Is kissing a sin in courtship & Don't judge me: I do not kiss.
  • Part 1-3 of Correcting in love.
2) My best highlight for this year is: Special treat on my birthday.

3) I'm looking forward to creating time to read more books.

Myss Lafunky wishes you a prosperous New Year.

Myss Lafunky's Advice for Her Readers and Followers for Next Year:
  • Seek The Lord. Many people have sought material things all their lives only to discover at the end that it does not satisfy.
  • Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.
  • Read a chapter of the book of Proverbs in the Bible a day. Feel free to share your experience and learning once you start reading your daily Proverbs.

Include your voice below in regards to the above 3 questions.

Looking forward to reading your comments.

-Myss Lafunky.

Sunday 29 December 2013

Ten Practical steps for Anger Management

Hi readers and followers, 

Happy Sunday! The below post is to help us to examine our emotions, particularly ANGER.  We all get angry but it is about how we manage our anger. I'm aware that some people deny that they get angry. Really? Is it possible not to get angry or upset? Or are you in denial? 

 I would like to suggest TEN practical steps for anger management (from a Christian perspective):

1)    Admit your anger: When you become angry, admit it. Don’t deny and say that you are not angry when it is apparent.

     2)    Tell God about it: Tell God about what makes you angry, tell God to help you with your emotions. Tell Him continuously. Continue to tell Him until you see a change in yourself.

3)    Do not speak when you are angry: Your words are likely to hurt others when you speak, your words may be used against you when you speak whilst being angry.  In addition, when we are angry, we tend to speak harsh words. 

4)    In silence shall your strength be (Isaiah 30:15b).  A friend of mine once told me that 1000 words cannot give you the power in silence.

5)    A gentle answer deflects angerbut harsh words make tempers flare (Proverbs 15:1). Therefore, we need to learn to be soft-spoken.

6)  Be kind with your words: Your kindness will reward you, but your cruelty will destroy you (Proverbs 11:17).

7)    Consider others people’s points of view. Do not be quick to get angry, because anger is typical of fools (Ecclesiastes 7:9).

8)    Don’t express your anger immediately: A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back (Proverbs 29:11).

9)    Speak when you are calm and not angry.

10)  Deny your flesh (self): When you are a born again Christian, it is not God that allows you to get angry. When you get angry as a Christian, you become angry outside Christ; your flesh allows you to become angry.

God wants us to deny our flesh on a daily basis.

Luke 9:23 states that:

"If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself [deny flesh], and take up his cross daily, and follow Me."

To overcome anger and temper, we must deny our flesh, which is also refer to as our SELF.

What does it mean to "deny your flesh"? 

To deny your flesh simply means to choose God's way of doing things instead of your own way of doing things. 

As I have previously written on this blog (Refer to post: Why do you have to trim me?), sometimes God allows us to be in situations where we are mistreated, and where we may not be liked; this could be God’s way of helping us to deal with anger and temper (Pruning process).

Ask yourself:

a)   Do I get angry?
b)   What makes me angry?
c)   Is it when I do not get my own way?
d)   Is it my lack of patience?
e)   Is it what I have been exposed to?
f)    Strife?
g)   Betrayal?

Knowing the roots of the anger may help you to manage your anger effectively.

            Test your anger management skills:
·         When someone hits your car, how would you react?
·         When someone keeps you waiting for a long time? How would you manage your temper?
·         When someone says something that hurts you, how would you deal with it?

- Myss Lafunky

Monday 23 December 2013

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to our readers and followers


For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

I am using this medium to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

We, Christians, chose every 25th December to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.  We celebrate His birth to the Glory of God and to remind us that:

Through Jesus Christ, all things were made, without Jesus Christ, nothing that was made would have been made.

Jesus Christ is the WAY, the TRUTH and the Life.  No ONE can come to the Father except through Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ is the only way to Heaven.

If thou CONFESS Jesus Christ with your mouth and BELIEVE in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.

I want to use this medium to thank everyone for a great year. Thanks for those that contributed to my blog through private questions, comments on the blog, guest writers, those that shared my blog page with others, people that critiqued some of the posts, etc.

I appreciate you all!!!!


(The last post for this year will be on 30th December 2013, it will be about your highlight for 2013. Also, the post that you found informative/enjoyed reading).

- Myss Lafunky

For God so loved the world so much that He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God's wrath remains on them.

Tuesday 17 December 2013

Help! The Devil's in my Pocket.

I went for a beautiful dance production and before I knew what was happening my 2 year old had whipped out my phone switched on the camera and was ready to start taking pictures...I looked at her and smiled. The advent of mobile phones in our lives has brought a massive change to our way of thinking. I remember when gsm was introduced...the aim was to bring people closer and together I believe. 

It was heavenly being able to call your friends and families from distant places, and as technology developed so did our thinking. We were only too happy to be in touch with our loved ones then it moved to being able to send them pictures without having to scan the images. When God gives a gift its meant to give us Joy! "for his gifts brings Joy and adds no sorrow". But the devil will never let it be! So he rears his ugly head and infuses his own touch to this amazing gifts and that's why people will rather use their phones these days to capture sordid images. Thereby propagating the works of the evil doers knowingly or unknowingly.

It's so easy for us now to see a drowning person and instead of calling for help we whip out our phones and start recording the images just so to share it with the sick can that be. We can use a lot of our time to evangelise and tell people more about the good things of life than share images of burnt Kano victims or sick adults molesting children. Even if you do record a crime please forward it to the necessary authorities and let it end there. If 70% of us refuse to forward silly videos the world will be much for it. We can leave that to the news channels..,it's not cool at all. I'm quite happy to open links to clips of bovi or I go die o doing their thing. Or a very nice inspirational word that will put me in high spirits all day but please think before you forward sick links.

I know a lot of this links generate prayer points but you may as well just write it or pray it. Our God is a God of intense imagination...I mean he created the world and all that is in it...look at the intricate delicate patterns on some animals or some of those beautiful flowers. Remember he created us in his own image so that means our level of imagination should at least be worth something. So please guys Abeg let's spend our time forwarding responsible and encouraging images and start to nip this viral and corrupt broadcasts in the bud..

Can a child play with your phone without seeing something that can traumatise them? Let's think .....stay blessed.

- Notes
 This post was written by one of my sisters.  She focused on the role of technology and its use, and our role.

Tuesday 10 December 2013

Sexual Immorality is not a sin - A must read

Hi readers and followers,

Don't be fooled by the above title.

I had a discussion with someone today. The lady said the below:

God cares about our spirit not our body. The body dies after one has given his or her life to Christ, therefore it is irrelevant what you do with your body.

It is about what you feed your spirit with.

She said, fornication and adultery are inevitable as it is not realistic for one to be faithful as a single or married person.

She emphasised on the physical body not being of a concern.

She also stated that, if the spirit is not fully mature, once she dies, her spirit will come back to life to live on earth until it has fully matured.

I was gob-smacked after her discussions.

Do you share similar views like her? She was so convinced in her views, and she was even quoting scriptures.
I did not even get the chance to respond to everything that she said. Nonetheless, I will pray for her and also share the below scriptures with her. 

My respond to her view. The position of God:

1 Thessalonians 5:23- May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 6:20 - You were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your bodies.

Galatians 5:19-21- The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

1 Corinthians 3:16-17: Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple.

1 Corinthians 6:18- Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

Romans 12: 1- I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

Leviticus 19:28- You shall not make any cuts on your body for the dead or tattoo yourselves: I am the Lord.

                God's Word about life after death:

1 Corinthians 15:51-57- Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. 

For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. 

For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.” “O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?”

Final notes: Let us be careful of the messages that we listen to. Someone that is not sound in the Word of God could be easily deceived. Even the Bible says that the very elect can be deceived with people that misinterpret the Word of God.

- Myss Lafunky

Monday 2 December 2013

Helping the Poor. Must I help the Poor?

Hi readers and followers,

Hope you had a nice weekend?  I can't believe it's December already.  Woop Woop!  It's nearly Christmas and it is also time where almost all the shops in England would be on sales.  26th December and 27th December are big sales day, I can't wait to shop. Would you be shopping as well? Or have you already done all your shopping?

Back to the post.

I have been pondering on helping people that are poor.  How do you know someone that is genuine and someone that is not genuine?  Recently, I was on my way to the Bank, a lady who appeared to be well- dressed, came out of her car and she stated that her car fuel had finished and she left her bank card/purse at home and she needed a minimum of £5 to fuel her car.  I explained to her that I had no cash. I felt I needed to be compassionate, I told her to walk to the cash machine with me. On our way to the cash machine, a lady walked towards us and shouted  "Don't give her money, she is a thief, she just asked me to give her money, I am going to ring the Police to report her". Before the lady finished her sentence, the woman that asked me for money ran to her car and drove off.

I was gobsmacked, I couldn't believe that I was going to be defrauded.  Given that the lady's appearance did not depict someone that was poor, I had no reason to question her motivation for begging for money, I believed her request.

My question is, how do we ensure that we do not get deceived and waste our money on wrong soils? 

Below are a few biblical scriptures about giving: 

1) Some people spend money freely and still grow richer. Others are cautious, and yet they grow poorer (Proverbs 11:24).

2)  Be generous and you will be prosperous.  Help others, and you will be helped (Proverbs 11:25).

3) Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and the Lord will repay the individual (Proverbs 19:7).

4) Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices.

Or should I have given the woman the money for her petrol? Must we be led by God before we give? 

Can wisdom be applied to giving? Does God require us to give to all the poor?

Include your voice below.

Please share this post.

- Myss Lafunky

Monday 25 November 2013

Coping with death/loss from a Christian perspective.

I just want to encourage my readers that are coping with loss or death of a precious person.

Below article is from UCB, Word For Today:  

"Our culture makes death a subject to avoid or to speak of with gloom. When the subject comes up, even Christians try to dodge the bullet by escaping into vague, irrelevant-sounding metaphors. But God’s Word makes death clear and unthreatening for those who trust in Christ.

‘Dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died, so you will not grieve like people who have no hope.’ God’s Word is direct, concrete, and encouraging on this subject. ‘Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His [godly ones]’ (Psalms 116:15 NKJV). 

From our heavenly Father’s perspective, death just opens the door for Him to enjoy perfect, eternal, delightful fellowship with each of His redeemed children. ‘I heard a voice out of Heaven, “Write this: Blessed are those who die in the Master…how blessed to die that way!” “Yes,” says the Spirit, “and blessed rest from their hard, hard work. 

None of what they've done is wasted; God blesses them for it all in the end’’’ (Revelation 14:13 TM). The Bible assures every believer that their death is not a tragedy but a triumphal entry into heaven. The Amplified Bible puts it: ‘Blessed (happy, to be envied).’

God instructed John, ‘Write this.’ Why? Because God understands that when we lose a loved one we tend to forget His perspective and adopt an emotion-driven perspective. 

Rejoice, believer, ‘…Whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord’ (Romans 14:8 NIV). And the Lord takes good care of what belongs to Him!".

In summary, happy is the memory of those that died in Christ.  Twale shared this scripture with me to encourage you. 

The scripture is in Isaiah 57:1-2 which says that: 

"Good people pass away; the godly often die before their time. 
But no one seems to care or wonder why.
No one seems to understand
That God is protecting them from evil to come.
For those who follow godly paths
Will rest in peace when they die". 

Practical ways of coping with death/loss
Talk to God on a daily basis. Literally voice your views to Him
Sing praises to God
Don't isolate yourself from your loved ones. Talk to your loved ones.
Do things that will aid your healing, going out, writing about it, engaging in your hobbies.
Do not take your life
Do not confess negative words
Take each day as it comes.
Seek counsel. Remember, seeking counsel does not suggest that you are weak neither does it suggest that you are not spiritually sound. God expects us to seek counsel.

Share your worries with God and appropriate individuals.

Have you experienced loss or know someone that has experienced loss? 

Include your voice below so as to encourage others that view this blog.

Be sociable and share this post! 

6 ways of correcting people in love (3 of 3)

Happy Monday to you all!

Hope you had a great weekend? 

Please don't forget to sign up for my blog. It's simple, just enter your email address on the right side of the blog that states 'Follow by Email'.

Here is the final part of  the post: 'correcting people in love'. I hope you have gained something from the post.

The below stemmed from what has been documented in the Bible, from my experience and experience of other people.

6 ways of correcting people in love:

1.   Show the person his fault in private.  (Nonetheless, be directed by God as God may not want you to show the person his or her fault in private. I'm just thinking of the scripture that says that 'Better is open rebuke than hidden love' (Proverbs 27:5). 

2.   Be gentle in your speech (whatever style of communication) and in your approach.

3.   Do not hate or dislike the individual.

4.   Be kind to the individual

5.   Pray for the individual.

6.   If the individual does not listen, pray for the individual again. If the error is so pertinent, the next stage is to take two or three witnesses with you to speak to the individual (How many of us still practise this?).

My experience
I remember I corrected an individual in love; however, the tone of my language was not pleasant as I came across as being judgemental and abrupt. I have also corrected people both publicly and private.

As part of my personal development and having studied the importance of correcting people in love and the implications of not correcting people in love, I am better informed in regards to correcting others in love.

I have two questions for you readers and followers? 

  • Do you have an example of how you corrected someone in love and how the person accepted your counsel? 
  • Or do you have an example of how you could have improved on how you corrected an individual?
  • Do you have an example of being corrected? How did you feel?    
    - Myss Lafunky

Monday 18 November 2013

5 things to consider before correcting people in love (2 of 3)

Happy Monday to you all!

Hope you had a great weekend? 

Please don't forget to sign up for my blog. 

From my personal experience, experience of others and from what the Bible says about correcting others, I have tried to be succinct by recommending 5 things that we should consider before we correct people in love.

5 things to consider before correcting people in love:

1.     Examine the intentions of your heart before correcting. 

2.     Ask yourself, why do I want to correct this individual? Is it to show the person that they are wrong or is it to find a way to help the person?

3.     Also, ask yourself, am I also guilty of what I am about to correct this individual? Therefore, carefully consider whether you are the most suitable person to correct the individual.

4.     Am I the right person to correct the individual?

5.     Ask the Holy Spirit on what to do.

- Myss Lafunky

Monday 11 November 2013

What does the Bible say about correcting in love? (1 of 3)

Happy Monday to you all!

Hope you had a great weekend? 

Please don't forget to sign up for my blog. It's simple, just enter your email address on the right side of the blog that states 'Follow by Email'.

The topic for the next three weeks will be about correcting in love.

Let's start with what love is.

In accordance to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, love is patient, love is kind, love is gentle, love does not get jealous, love does not envy, etc.

Therefore, to correct in love means we must take into consideration the above definition of love.

What does the Bible say about correcting others in love?

When I say to the wicked, ‘You wicked person, you will surely die,’ and you do not speak out to dissuade them from their ways, that wicked person will die for their sin, and I will hold you accountable for their blood. (Ezekiel 33:8 NIV).

Vs 9 of Ezekiel 33 - But if you do warn the wicked person to turn from their ways and they do not do so, they will die for their sin, though you yourself will be saved.

Proverbs 28:23
He who rebukes a man will afterwards find 
more favour than he who flatters with the tongue.

Matthew 18:15–17
If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 “But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. 17 “If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the assembly; and if he refuses to listen even to the assembly, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

Galatians 6:1
Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, 
restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.

2 Timothy 2:24–25
The Master’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps Elohim may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth.

Leviticus 19:17–18
You shall not hate your fellow countryman in your heart; you may surely reprove your neighbour, but shall not incur sin because of him. 
18 ‘You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbour as yourself.

- Myss Lafunky 

Monday 4 November 2013

Myss Lafunky Reader Responds to: 'To kiss or not to Kiss'

Happy Monday to you all!

How was your weekend?  My weekend was very very very interesting, lots of programmes during the weekend, majority was based on relationships, comprehensive information about Christian families, the role of a man, the role of a wife within the marriage setting, amongst others. Finally, I was pampered with a special gift.

Hope your weekend was interesting as well? 

Please don't forget to sign up to follow my blog.

I want to use this medium to express my gratitude to people that contacted me to seek guidance about no kissing and how they can stay pure during their courtship.

I want to let you all know that we/I am here for you.

One of my readers sent the below comment/post to me.  Having read her response, I believe she is entitled to one of our give-aways.

                                                  TO KISS OR NOT TO KISS

Okay, I read your article about NO THKS before marriage and I completely agree with your point of view.  Thanks a lot for your down to earth analysis. I know it will go a long way to help people who are struggling with sexual purity outside marriage. I actually put my own relationship under a self appraisal, just to ensure that I am still operating within the purity boundaries. 

However, I remembered something that happened a couple of weeks ago, that brings an interesting twist to the matter. I thought it would be nice to share it and further broaden perspectives on this issue.

Well, one night, my fiancé who was on his way back home after a long and very busy Saturday, decided to pick me up from where I was in town and gave me a ride home first. It was already very late, so we knew we could not spend much time together, but when we were about getting to my place, he let on that he has had an extremely hectic week and it had been a while that he ate good food.

He was also very tired, since he had been driving for over four hours and he planned to go to an eatery to get some fast food for dinner. My heart reacted when I heard this, and although my ‘prim and proper, stick to the rules’ mind told me to let him go as it would be inappropriate to have him in my house at that time, my sisterly (or probably Martha ministry) instinct told me that it would be wrong to let a brother go away hungry especially since it was very much within my power to do something about it!

Eventually, the Martha ministry mind prevailed and even though he initially refused, I insisted that he come in and have a meal before going home.  I quickly whipped up some very good food, and it was a pleasure to watch him eat to his heart’s content, I could tell from his smile that he was very happy. However, when he finished eating and I cleared up the dishes, he pulled me into a very tight and warm embrace which lasted for quite some time.

At some point, I thought we were going too far and I could not bear it any longer, so I pulled away and he decided that it was time to go. When he left, I started feeling very guilty because our hugging had clearly gone beyond what I thought were appropriate physical boundaries.

I started blaming myself for even allowing him to come in and have a meal at that time of the night. I could not pray and I hardly slept all night. In church the next day, I still felt very guilty and unclean. It took quite some time to assure myself that God is still a merciful God and since I have confessed he had also forgiven me. I also saw reason to thank God that he had helped us not to take it further than that.

After dealing with the burden of guilt in my heart, I began to wonder how my fiancé felt about the incident, if he also had to go through an experience as harrowing as I had just gone through. Thankfully, we communicate very well with each other and when the opportunity came to talk over the phone, I told him how I had felt and how I had found it very difficult to pray until I begged God to forgive me and take the guilt away. 

To my utter amazement, he said that he had not felt guilty at all! He was very surprised to learn that what he thought was a gesture to show his profound appreciation for what I had just done for him was for me a very sensual and sexual act.

His reaction really surprised me and taught me the importance of effective communication in setting appropriate physical boundaries in a relationship, because people’s beliefs about is so varied even amongst sons and daughters of God, and what is deemed inappropriate by one might not appear so to the other.

If we want to avoid offending one another and ultimately God in our relationships we have to effectively communicate and set appropriate limits before we go too far into our relationships.

Through very frank communication, we were able to agree on appropriate physical boundaries which would prevent either of us feeling that we had committed a sin.

I read an article online a lady’s reaction when her fiancé asked if he could kiss her. She berated him and condemned him for asking for such a thing when he was supposed to be a Christian. He said she made him feel like dung” I think that it was not proper for the lady to make her man, who was a fellow Christian, feel that way for what he asked. She should have corrected him with a spirit of gentleness (Galatians 6:1).

However, I'm wondering how come they were already engaged and the brother had no inkling that his fiancée had such a strong opposition to the kissing act. Obviously they had not spelt out clear physical boundaries before they went too far along in their relationship. This incident eventually led to the ruin of their relationship.

I also had a discussion with one of my friends who recently got engaged, and she told me how she and her fiancé took time to confer and agree on physical boundaries when they made their relationship official. She said that while kissing and sex (in whatever form) were off limits, hugging was very much allowed and appreciated!!! She confided that she had no issues with that level of physical contact, because she grew up in a family where hugging and cuddling were common place (which unfortunately is not the case for most African families!).

Of course, it is not just enough to talk and agree on physical boundaries and assume that there will be no temptation to cross those limits from time to time. Temptations will arise, so be ready for them and you could also agree on what an appropriate reaction should be when one of you is tempted, e.g. leave the place.

The book “Boy meets Girl: Say hello to courtship” written by Joshua Harris is a very good book that addresses the issue of sexual and physical purity before tying the knot.

So, the objective of this write up is the need to maintain effective communication in a relationship. I think it is indeed the most effective ingredient in a successful relationship and marriage.

Instead of kissing, we should use our lips to talk to one another in love, and may the Lord help us keep utmost purity in our relationships in Jesus name.


Monday 28 October 2013

Don't Judge Me: I'm in love and I do not kiss. Yes! It is Possible!

Happy Monday to you all!

Hope you had a great weekend.

Please don't forget to sign up to follow my blog.

Here is my write-up to the question that was asked last week:

The no THKS (No inappropriate Touching, no inappropriate Hugging, no inappropriate Kissing and no Sex) is a useful tool to utilise in a Christian courtship. 

While the Bible did not explicitly state that kissing is a sin, however, what tends to happen after the ‘K’ does not and will not please God, unless we want to fool ourselves.

I believe the way love has been portrayed in society and in the media have influenced how some Christians view love during their courtship.

In our relationship, we must be pure throughout; we must DARE to be DIFFERENT

Kissing takes our mind away from God, and it increases one’s sexual tension for one’s partner.

Kissing is also difficult to STOP when one engages in it and your imagination is very likely to wander and you may want to take it to the next stage (Physical touching, caressing, fingering, sex, oral sex, amongst others).

Remember, the Bible says in Matthew 5: 28 that, “But I tell you that if anyone looks at a woman and wants to sin sexually with her, in his mind he has already done that sin with the woman”. It is therefore impossible to kiss and at the same time, refrain one’s imagination from running wild.

Why not take a stand for total purity and not engage in kissing. Let’s be on this journey together, regardless if you are in a short or long distance relationship.

It is possible to stay pure; it is all in the mind and having self-control.  Also, regularly reading relevant scriptures and articles in relation to staying pure in courtship would help.

If we want to pursue godliness, it is simply the wrong question to ask. The questions we should ask ourselves are:
  1. Would we confidently describe kissing our fiancé/fiancée/boyfriend/girlfriend as holy and honourable to God?
  2. Was the kissing done to satisfy lust or was it to honour God with our bodies?
  3. Does it reflect purity?
  4. Do you feel kissing and romancing is a holy act?
  5. What do you think God will do if He was in your shoe?
  6. Whatever you did if it is kissing or romance, was there a hint of sexual immorality? Ephesians 5:3-5

From the questions that I usually receive and the discussions that I have engaged in, a lot of people who justify pre-marital sexual involvement (including kissing, touching, etc) are those who are currently engaging in it. However, people do want to stop it, but because they had started it already, it becomes difficult to stop. 

If you haven’t started the THKS, I would encourage you not to go near it (Do not awaken love until it is so desires).  And if you have started it and you are looking for ways to stop, please keep reading this post for suggestions on how to stop.

It is to be noted that no Christians that engaged in THKS prior to their marriage would look back and defend that it was a good choice that they made, and neither would they encourage you to engage in it.

·        If you have engaged in any of the THKS, it is still possible to stop it.

·         Start renewing your mind with the Word of God. The Word of God would influence and change you.

·         Ask God to embrace you again. God is a God of second chance. He is ready to forgive and cleanse us, once we ask for His mercy.

·         Start building friends and mentors that will guide you in the right way.

·         If you are in a relationship and you can’t stop engaging in the THKS, I will advice you and your partner to SPEAK out, SEEK SUPPORT, and if you still can’t stop, to honour God, the solution is to end the relationship.  

·         God said that, whoever covers his or her sin will not prosper Proverbs 28:13.  Please, stop hiding it; speak out so that you can be FREE from it.

·         In terms of romance, I agree with one of the comments in the question (read last week's post) asked that, expressing your love is pre-requisite in courtship (nonetheless we must be careful of the choice of words and the choice of things that we do). 

·        One of the people that commented suggested , expressing your romance through careful choice of words, gifts, acts of service, learning about each other’s character, etc.

·         I know some of you are thinking that, it is impossible not to kiss and romance (touching, sexual behaviour). Trust me, it is possible, I am following it and I know a number of people that adhere to it.

Final words:

1.    You are in charge of your body.

2.    You must make every effort to stay pure.

3.    You must practice self-control.

4.    You and your partner must have convictions not to engage in it. If it is only one person that has the conviction, you are likely to fall, until both of you agree. (God said can two walk together except they agree?  Amos 3:3).

5.    Think about your future testimony with your children. What would you tell them? Are you going to tell them that God transformed you along the way when you fell into sin or are you going to tell them that you continued to engage in what you felt was wrong.

6.    Start reading books, articles, having discussions about showing love in a Christian courtship.

You have the opportunity to get it right before it is too late.
You can look back from today and say ‘when I knew the right way of courting, I courted my boyfriend the way that was pleasing to God'.
Remember, true love in line with 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 waits.

True love will not want you to disobey God.

A man or a lady that insists on kissing and touching is more in love with his or her body than implementing self-control to stay off sexual immorality.

The right way of courtship brings peace, joy and no worries.  It also makes one to have a good testimony. The wrong way brings shame, guilt, lack of trust, punishments from God, etc.

Remember Joseph feared God, he ran away from sexual things from Potiphar's wife.

Also remember that despite that God loved David, when he committed sexual sin, God punished him. 

I will end this write-up with Twale’s comment: “After marriage, I'm sure many people would be tired of kissing, right? Therefore, please chillax".  
In other words, there will be many opportunities within marriage to express your love to your spouse. You won’t be guilty neither would you be committing sin.

Action Point
Pastor Adeboye said that ‘the weakness you are able to conquer today will mostly likely be conquered by your generations. Start a good chain of living right today.

Abraham lied little, Isaac lied more, Jacob was worse with his lie.  Can you see how the sin affected their generations because Abraham started the lie and he didn't fully repent and terminate it?

Lord Jesus, please help me to overcome every weakness in my life in Jesus name. 
Help me to have victory over every weakness in my life. I will not pass seeds of weaknesses to my children and the generations to come in Jesus name.

Give Away!!!
The winners of last week's give aways are Ifekt, Twale, Opeyemi and Patience. The winners will be contacted soon. Congratulations!

- Myss Lafunky