Sunday 29 December 2013

Ten Practical steps for Anger Management

Hi readers and followers, 

Happy Sunday! The below post is to help us to examine our emotions, particularly ANGER.  We all get angry but it is about how we manage our anger. I'm aware that some people deny that they get angry. Really? Is it possible not to get angry or upset? Or are you in denial? 

 I would like to suggest TEN practical steps for anger management (from a Christian perspective):

1)    Admit your anger: When you become angry, admit it. Don’t deny and say that you are not angry when it is apparent.

     2)    Tell God about it: Tell God about what makes you angry, tell God to help you with your emotions. Tell Him continuously. Continue to tell Him until you see a change in yourself.

3)    Do not speak when you are angry: Your words are likely to hurt others when you speak, your words may be used against you when you speak whilst being angry.  In addition, when we are angry, we tend to speak harsh words. 

4)    In silence shall your strength be (Isaiah 30:15b).  A friend of mine once told me that 1000 words cannot give you the power in silence.

5)    A gentle answer deflects angerbut harsh words make tempers flare (Proverbs 15:1). Therefore, we need to learn to be soft-spoken.

6)  Be kind with your words: Your kindness will reward you, but your cruelty will destroy you (Proverbs 11:17).

7)    Consider others people’s points of view. Do not be quick to get angry, because anger is typical of fools (Ecclesiastes 7:9).

8)    Don’t express your anger immediately: A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back (Proverbs 29:11).

9)    Speak when you are calm and not angry.

10)  Deny your flesh (self): When you are a born again Christian, it is not God that allows you to get angry. When you get angry as a Christian, you become angry outside Christ; your flesh allows you to become angry.

God wants us to deny our flesh on a daily basis.

Luke 9:23 states that:

"If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself [deny flesh], and take up his cross daily, and follow Me."

To overcome anger and temper, we must deny our flesh, which is also refer to as our SELF.

What does it mean to "deny your flesh"? 

To deny your flesh simply means to choose God's way of doing things instead of your own way of doing things. 

As I have previously written on this blog (Refer to post: Why do you have to trim me?), sometimes God allows us to be in situations where we are mistreated, and where we may not be liked; this could be God’s way of helping us to deal with anger and temper (Pruning process).

Ask yourself:

a)   Do I get angry?
b)   What makes me angry?
c)   Is it when I do not get my own way?
d)   Is it my lack of patience?
e)   Is it what I have been exposed to?
f)    Strife?
g)   Betrayal?

Knowing the roots of the anger may help you to manage your anger effectively.

            Test your anger management skills:
·         When someone hits your car, how would you react?
·         When someone keeps you waiting for a long time? How would you manage your temper?
·         When someone says something that hurts you, how would you deal with it?

- Myss Lafunky


  1. Thank you for this. For me,I totally agree with no 4. The power of silence. Think its the first thing to do when angry. Stay silent, take a step away and when you are much calmer , if need be revisit it.

    1. Thank you tenpoints reviews. I also will implement more of no 4. I pray when we are angry, we will utilise the right approach to manage the anger in Jesus name.

    2. As part of my personal bible study, I came across this scripture: Stupid people express their anger openly, but sensible people are patient and hold it back. (Proverbs 29:11 GNT)

  2. I love it and completely agree. Numbers 6 & 7 work a great deal. try it in work groups in your work place and everyday life and you would be amazed at the results. Wonderful post this is. Actually my favorite for 2013. :)

    1. Aww! Thanks Opeyemi, for choosing this as your favourite post for Year 2013.

    2. I'm consciously implementing no 7, intact, I have put some practical strategies in place. I like No 6 too. Please, remember to share and copy the post to your social media, you never know, you might help a friend who needs help with anger management.