Monday 30 March 2015

Overcoming Discouragement | A Christian Perspective

Have you ever been discouraged?

Do you know that almost everyone has had at least one experience of being discouraged? 

Meet John...
John finished with a Lower Second-Class honours (2:2) from his University, he was sceptical and afraid that he may not find a job with a 2:2. He trusted God to help him, however, 95% of the job applications that he made was unsuccessful. His friends and parents discouraged him, they told him to apply for non-graduate jobs, however, John refused as he believed if he had applied for non-graduate jobs, he may struggle to switch to a graduate job afterwards. John was determined that God was going to make a way for him.

One of his friends told him about a graduate job opening, however his friend told him that he would need to lie in his CV, he would need to include fake experiences that he did not have. John vehemently refused and his friend deserted him.

John continued to trust God and he purposed in his heart not to sin against God neither did he want to cut corners. While he waited on God for his dream graduate job, John undertook a non-paid work experience role for about 2 years and he also completed online professional courses. 

To everyone's amazement, John obtained a high paying job at an international Oil and Gas company after 2 years of trusting God for a Graduate Job. The salary that he was offered was beyond his imagination; apart from his salary, he was offered a company car, a company house and other luxurious benefits. 
While John was discouraged along the way, he never gave up, he stood on God's promises and he also ensured that he prepared himself for the promise that he was waiting for. 

Origin of Discouragement

- Discouragement stems from different things, it could be due to lack of hope, someone disapproving of what we are doing or about to do, not seeing results of what we are doing.
-Discouragement comes when people disappoint us, when someone lets us down, when someone mocks our creativity, when someone puts us down despite the effort we had put in undertaking a task.

- Discouragement may come when we have prayed to God and we are waiting for the manifestation of the prayers that we have prayed.

Is Discouragement the Will of God for Christians?
Discouragement is not from God, it is from the works of Satan. Satan's mission is to STKD (Steal, Kill and Destroy), his plan is to kill people's joy, to destroy the good things in people's lives, to prevent them from believing in the Lordship of Jesus Christ, for people to think the false freedom/fun they are enjoying is the true freedom, not realising that Satan is keeping them in bondage.

God said in Isaiah 26:3 that He would keep His children in Perfect Peace and He encouraged us to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might ( Ephesians 6:10).

God's plan is to give His children a hope and a bright future. Therefore, it is not His plan for His children to feel discouraged.

Discouragement makes individuals to come off-track from God's plan for their lives. Hence, God has admonished Christian to fix their eyes on Him, trust in Him and He would direct their paths right. (Do you know that God does not make mistakes?) 


How to Overcome Discouragement

1)  Watch out for any form of discouragement. It can come from anyone. In the book of Nehemiah, Nehemiah was determined to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem and he trusted in God to help him. However, it happened that Sanballat, Tobiah, the Arabs, the Ammonites, and the Ashodites heard that the walls of Jerusalem were going to be rebuilt, they laughed at Nehemiah and they despised him (Nehemiah 2:9-20). However, Nehemiah and his people were not discouraged, he ensured that the walls were rebuilt despite continuous discouragement from Sanballat and his cohorts.
2)  Refuse to respond to discouragement and trust God to accomplish His Will in Your Life.  David was discouraged by King Saul, he was told that he was such a young boy and that he would not be able to defeat Goliath despite the fact that it was David that put himself forward. However, David reminded King Saul of how God had helped him to kill lions and bears when he tendered his father's sheep.
3)  Hold on to the promises of God and His promises for your life: God said that the trying of our faith works patience (James 1:3). When we hold on to God's promises, it shows that we have faith in Him and we believe that He will make a way, albeit we don't need to know how but just trust in Him. God said He is pleased with those who trust in Him and He would never put them to shame.
4)  Put yourself on guard: Guard your heart. The Bible says in Luke 6:45 that "A Good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of." What do you feed your hearts with? Do you feed your hearts with good or bad treasures? Do you feed your hearts with the Word of God? With music that glorifies God? Do you guard what you read? What you watch? What you hear and what you listen to?
5)  Encourage yourself in the Lord. Remember the great things God had done for you and look forward to what He would do. Start confessing it, prepare yourself for it and look forward to the amazing promises. Do not wallow in depression.
6)  Persist in the face of opposition. The enemies are not usually idle, they constantly want the children of God to be discouraged and to give up. God wants us to endure. He Himself endured the sufferings and the cross, despising the shame because of the joy that was set before Him (Hebrews 12:2). This suggests that when we endure sufferings until the end, we will experience unspeakable joy. No wonder the Bible says that weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5). 
7) Remember that discouragement is a feeling and you have a choice to not be discouraged. Don't discourage yourself in life. God has commanded His children not to be discouraged. The book of Joshua 1:9 states that: "Have I not commanded you? be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

- Myss Lafunky

Wednesday 25 March 2015

What Do Christian Single Women Really Want in a Man?

I would like to thank Kejiola (one of the readers of Myss Lafunky's blog) for putting herself forward to write this post. Also, a big thanks to the editor of this blog for coming up with the word 'CREAM'. 

Below is Keji's write up...What exactly do some Christian Single women want in a man
Every time I see this question, my mind flashes back to a Facebook post that was put up by someone I used to know some years back. I do not remember all the comments that followed but I remember vividly that he ended up more confused than he was before he put up that post, probably because he did not get the unanimous answer that he was expecting. While lady A’s answer was: “a honest and faithful man”, lady B was of the opinion that a caring and sensitive chap would do, lady C laid emphasis on good looks, lady D just wanted a God-fearing man (am I the only one that has noticed how loosely the term, “God-fearing” is used when people mention their desired qualities in a potential spouse?). 
Well, my point is that almost everyone had something different to say and the truth is, as a lady, if you have not gotten to that point where all you want to do is live sincerely for Christ and surrender your will for His, your preferences would be as fluctuant as the comments on that post. Take it from someone who has been there and done that, you cannot be sure that you know what you want till you know your God.

Ok! With that said, it’s time to address the guys!

Let me start by sharing with you the word, CREAM.

CREAM means        C – Christ

R – Rules     

E – Everything

A – About

M – Me!

So in relation to the topic, CREAM girls want CREAM guys! It’s that simple! See, no matter how many of the other cool attributes you posses, it can’t work if you are not all about the real Christian life. For CREAM girls, GODLY is the new CHARMING. 
Does this mean you have to be perfect and always act like you’ve got a halo on? No! If you have blood flowing through your veins, then there are chances that like every other man born of woman, you have flaws, serious ones! But what distinguishes CREAM guys from the rest is that they do not use their flaws as an excuse to misbehave. Instead, they are willing to work on their flaws with the help of Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 12:9) and do away with anything that would hinder them from serving the one they love faithfully.

Bottom line: You can’t rely on your own strength to love another human. There are times when only the strength from God would keep you going.

For serious minded girls, the focus is not on how robust your bank account is TODAY, the focus is on your future plans and the efforts you make towards achieving them. Luke 14:28 also addresses the importance of planning ahead for the future. So for the guys in the house, if you are in your twenties and are still mopping/grappling around about the path to follow (career-wise and all), you may want to shift your focus from winning over the girl of your dreams to setting goals and working towards them. 
I mean, how we ladies play our “HELP MEET” role when the person we are supposed to be “help meeting” doesn’t even know his way around here. Let me point it out here that there are exceptions, e.g., when God ordered Abraham to move his family to a place where He WAS YET TO SHOW HIM (Genesis 12:1). Hmm..! You see why point No.1 is a deal breaker for us? We know that even if the path to follow is not yet clear, your CREAM-ness (see point 1 for the full meaning of CREAM) would be rich and substantial.

My final point touches on the PHYSICAL aspect. There is no biblical law against having a modest fashion sense and being altogether presentable, so puhleaseeee guys, the next time you want to wear that patterned shirt, do away with the striped trousers like a plague. We love it when a guy has a nice dress sense. There is no crime in smelling good too. Improve on your English vocabulary. Say No to smelling socks. Dieting is not for girls only, if the need calls for it, do it!

- Kejiola

Kejiola is an academic staff member in one of Nigerian tertiary institutions. She considers herself one of the Earthen Vessels in which God keeps His treasures. Her utmost desire is to be in the center of God’s will in every facet of her life. She spends her leisure time watching inspirational movies, reading books that edify and observing nature.
Do you agree with Keji? If you agree or disagree, please leave your comment below or send your view to

Tuesday 3 March 2015

Keep Your Business Private or Share Your Business?

Do you struggle to decide which information about you to share with others? And which information to keep secret? 

An incident occurred within a group that I belong to, almost everyone of us grumbled and anxiously said: "Please, don't share my private business with others" , "Oh no, I don't want other people to know my business" , "Please respect my private business" etc.
I pondered on it and I wondered and asked myself why are we humans scared of people knowing our business? Could it be because the hearts of humans are desperately wicked as stated in the Bible? Or we don't know what the individual would do with the information that we have disclosed to them?
Could it be fear? Are we fearful about what our information would be used for? 


How can we balance sharing our worries, letting people know our plans and at the same time keeping our business to ourselves?

I have observed that Christians, in particular, prefer to boast about the things that they are doing right to others rather than their weaknesses. Could it be because we need to protect our good image to others and act as if we do not have any challenges that we go through?

Should we be brave and share all our businesses with others? Or is there a time to share and a time not to share?


Should we all mind our businesses and just remember to pray for others during our quiet time with God? 

Although I can link keeping our private business to ourselves to the story of Elizabeth and Mary. When Elizabeth was pregnant, Angel Gabriel told Mary (Elizabeth's cousin) after about 6 months of Elizabeth's pregnancy. When Eizabeth found out that she was pregnant, she was not hasty to share the news of her pregnancy with Mary, it was the Angel of God that told Mary. This therefore suggests that, there's a time to share and a time to be quiet about things. 

Also, I am reminded of the story of Joseph in the Bible, who shared his dreams with his siblings. He told his siblings that they were going to bow down for him; his brothers used the information shared by Joseph against him.

Tips for people that are worried to share their private business:

  • Get to know someone before you choose to share your private life with them unless it's an emergency.
  • Let God be your first point of call.
  • Do not suffer in silence.
  • Don't wait for an issue to escalate before you seek counsel.
  • Find a trusted person that you have observed their character through their way of life, through your personal conviction about the person, etc.
  • If you choose to seek online support, it will be beneficial for you to seek face to face counsel as well.
  • Remember that after you have shared your business, you can't guarantee that it will be kept secret. However, you can request for your information to be kept confidential.
Tips for people that want to know others private business: 

Ask yourself the following questions:
  1. Why do I want to know?
  2. What would I do with the information? 
  3. Do I really need the information? 
  4. Am I ready to help, counsel and guide the person?
In addition to asking yourself those questions, you should also consider the following:
  • Build a friendly relationship with others
  • Don't demand for people to tell you their private business. It is not a right, it is a privilege for others to share their burdens with you
  • Don't slander the individual that has revealed their private life to you
  • Remember to maintain confidentiality

Do you have any tips on how individuals can balance sharing their issues of life through seeking counsel or friends' views and at the same time how to keep their personal businesses to themselves?

Also, where do you stand?

- Myss Lafunky