Thursday 29 May 2014

Purge Yourself From Youthful Lusts

Jesus said, "except a seed falls to the ground and dies, it cannot bring forth fruits (John 12:24 -Paraphrased).
The less of me, the more of God. And the only way to let God take full control is when I die. Do I die literally?

But Death is...

When I forgo to go sleepovers at my boyfriend's place. 
Death is when I say NO to friends with benefits.
Death is when I refused to gossip even when the person would not know that I gossiped about them.
Death is when I stand for purity in my relationship, in the open and in the secret place.
Death is when I destroy every pornographic material that I have access to and I avoid every means of accessing it; when I delete every link to the websites and every video or magazines.

Death is also forsaking those fabulous shoes that I saw in the shop yesterday and gave the money to my friend who can't afford to feed herself next week.
Death is when God asks me to make the first move in reconciliation when I was obviously the offended party.
Death is blessing someone I would rather curse.
Death is keeping quiet when an authority is rebuking me and I know they are wrong.
Death is staying sexually pure (no kissing, no touching, no form of sex) in my relationship even when I am tempted to express my love the worldly way.
Death is drinking J20 even when my friends are drinking snake bites, Bailey, etc. 
Death is refusing to read the article on Rihanna or Beyonce because it will not edify me.
Death is breaking up with my boyfriend after his persistence of wanting to engage in fornication.

                             Fruits are:

Fruit is when I no longer care about who hates me or love me because I am loved by Christ.
Fruit is living to please God and not men.

Fruit is seeing a soul I almost gave up on coming to receive Christ.
Fruit is finding out that my mess is now my message, my misery is now a ministry.
Fruit is seeking help from a trusted Christian individual, and not isolating myself as there is victory in seeking good counsel and it helps me to be accountable.

Fruit is knowing that I can stand on God's Word.
Fruit is using my time as a Youth to serve God and knowing that whatever I do have consequences and also being aware that sins dwell in secrecy.

Fruit is distracting myself whenever I feel like watching pornography or masturbating. Fruit is looking for something that is pure to enjoy.

Fruit is re-dedicating my life to Jesus Christ.
Fruit is examining the clothes that I wear- I must say NO to revealing my cleavage, I must say NO to skimpy outfits.
Fruit is ensuring that my words are graceful and refined.
Finally, being aware that on the last day, I will give account of ALL that I have done, fed my mind with and ALL that I have said...I will give account to God.

Share this with someone around you, it is never too late for you to retrace your steps back to God. God is waiting for you to make that bold steps. He is ready to help you.

- Myss Lafunky
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.  For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

Monday 26 May 2014

Learn More About God's Grace: My Understanding of Grace

Have you ever received a present or an award that you did not deserve?  The present was given to you out of love not because you met all the criteria.

Guess what?  God's Grace towards us is when God decides to LOVE us even when we do not deserve it.
When God decides to BLESS us even when we do not deserve it. This simply means that we cannot EARN God's Grace.

Did you know that we were saved by His Grace?  Ephesians 2:8 states that, 'For it is by Grace you have been saved, through faith.  It is not the result of your own efforts, but God's gift, so that no one can boast about it'

Have you ever thanked God for His Grace upon your life?

Do you show God's Grace to others as well?

Grace also erases all our sins. E.g. Paul would not have qualified to be an apostle without the Grace of God.

Paul said, But by the Grace of God I am what I am, and His Grace toward me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me. (I Corinthians 15:10 NKJV).

Have you heard of dispensation of Law and dispensation of Grace?

The Bible says in Romans 5:19-21 that the Law came in so that the transgression would increase; but where sin increased, God's Grace even increased much more (Nonetheless, this is not a license for us to sin as God cannot be mocked, also those that love God do not consciously sin).

The LAW says we are guilty but God's GRACE set us free. An example in the Bible was the story of the woman taken in adultery, the woman ought to be stoned according to the Law, however, Jesus Christ stepped Him and said the woman should be set free. That is GRACE! it justifies. 
There are several characters in the Bible that the law could have been applied but the Grace of God was applied, the Grace justified. Therefore, we must acknowledge the role of Grace in our lives. 

Have you disobeyed any of God's commandments this week? Trust me..if you are to search your heart, you will realise that you may not have followed at least one of God's principles this week.  Nonetheless, the Bible says in Psalm 130:3 that 'if God kept a record of sins, who could stand before Him? It is the Grace of God that enables us to stand'.

The Grace of God can be applied in warfare prayers:

Zechariah 4:7 states that:

‘Who are you, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel you shall become a plain! And he shall bring forth the capstone With shouts of “Grace, Grace to it!” ’ (Zechariah 4:7 NKJV).

We can't meet all our needs by our personal abilities or undertake God's precepts by our own ability. God's Grace is available to help and guide us. The Bible says that, it is not of him that willeth, nor runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy.  A simpler version states that, It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God's mercy (NIV- Romans 9:16)
The Psalmist says that: 'For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord will give Grace and glory; No good thing will He withhold From those who walk uprightly. (Psalms 84:11 NKJV)'. Therefore, the Grace of God allows us to be blessed by God. 

Do you know that God's Grace is working for you on a daily basis? And God's Grace has been given to you. Ephesians 4:7 states that:
'But to each one of us Grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift'.

The month of May signifies Grace. Take time to increase your understanding of Grace and also thank God for the Grace of God upon your life, your home and your family.

- Myss Lafunky

Winning With People: Summary of John Maxwell's book

Hi readers and followers, 

Hope you had a great weekend? 

It's Bank Holiday here in England, some of us are not working today and schools are closed for students. Wishing you all a lovely Bank Holiday. 

To our US readers and followers, Happy Memorial Day! 

I recently read a book by John Maxwell, the book was very impactful, I can guarantee that you will learn a lot from the book.  Thanks to the person that recommended the book, I learnt a lot from reading the book. I would advise you to get the book if possible, there are numerous relationship principles within the book that can be applied to every facet of our lives. If you do not get a chance to read the book, below is my summary (16 points) of the book: 

1) Create time for people. * Hmmm..this is not that straightforward *.

2) Celebrate with people.  * Do you celebrate with people even if you have not achieved what your friends have achieved?*

3) Never be jealous of people's success.

4) It is easier for people to mourn with someone's failure than to rejoice with one's success.

5) Examine friends that keep quiet about your success.  *Hmm, from my little experience on earth, I have observed this*. 
6) Know that there are friends for a reason, there are friends for a season and there are friends for a lifetime.

7) Reduce complaining about people.

8) See the good in people.

9) People who celebrate with us are likely to become our lifelong friends.

10) People are interested in the person that is interested in them.

11) Each person that we meet has the potential to teach us something, it doesn't mean the learning will be applicable for us to implement.

12) Instead of putting others in their place, we must put ourselves in their place.

13) Learning to see things from others perspectives help us to succeed in our relationships with people.

14) However, when we fail to see things from the perspectives of others, we are likely to fail in such relationship.

15) A friend that increases our infirmities must be avoided. It is not a sin.

16) Who I am as a person determines how I view life and it determines what I do.

I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the book. I hope you have also enjoyed my summary.

Be sociable and share this post

- Myss Lafunky

Monday 19 May 2014

Do Your Associations Bring Out The Best In You?

Happy Monday my lovely readers and followers

Hope you had a nice weekend?

There are tons of biblical scriptures that have made reference to the company that we keep. For the Bible to make reference to it on numerous times, it means God wants us to consider the company that we keep carefully. Don't start thinking 'how am I going to convert them to a Christian if I do not associate with them. God will instruct you if He wants you to have a close relationship with such individual.

Proverbs 22:24-25 which states that:

 Keep away from angry, short-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul. (New Living Translation Version).

There is an old saying that says: show me your friend and I will know who you are.

The Bible says evil association corrupts good manners.  Therefore, the right association brings the right motivation in this life journey. As a teenager, I remember my sister made reference to the old saying to me from time to time in her efforts to keep me on the straight and narrow path. 

The issue of friends is a life principle as well as a spiritual principle that we must all learn.

God brings us across the path of people for various reasons and when we identify those reasons, it would allow us to know what to do.

Associations can be classified into short term and long term, as not all our friends are to stay for long term, the earlier we understand this, the better, as this would prevent us from being angry at people. In addition, John Maxwell stated within his book that, we must know that there are friends for a reason, there are friends for a season and there are friends for a lifetime.

My friend and I had a discussion about associating with ISI (Iron Sharpenth Iron) people.

Who are ISI friends and people?

ISI friends build trust.

i) They offer the right information, ii) they leave good trademarks in your life, iii) they share biblical truth and they are inspired by God to say the right and share appropriate information with you, iv) they sometimes partner with you in prayers, v) they search and encourage you to know and follow the Word of God.  

Do you know you can be an ISI friend to people that you come across or the people that God leads you to?


Some people associate with us to either pull us back or push us forward.

Some people are there because they have a need in our lives to meet. Therefore, we must be patient with them.

Some people come into your lives to teach you some core life lessons.

Some people are there to help you fulfil your purpose in life while some may come into your lives and they may influence you to loose your focus.

Some people come into your lives to influence you negatively, and to test your beliefs and values.

Knowing where each one of the above people falls into is wisdom, as it would help you to know how to relate with them.

Examples of people that carefully selected their associates are: David and Jonathan,and Joshua and Caleb. 
I recently learnt about the negative influence of Jonadab on Amnon; it's a biblical story.  Check it out here

Final notes from me:

The Bible says:
                             Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord, And in His law he meditates day and night. (Psalms 1:1, 2 NKJV).

                            Blessed is the individual who carefully selects his or her friends/associates. And how do you carefully do that? Watch out for next week's post.

- Myss Lafunky

Be sociable and share this post.
Ministry is sharing.

Monday 12 May 2014

Rebirth: 20 Ways to show you love somebody (without having sex)

Happy Monday guys,

Are you set for the new week?

I have written several posts on maintaining purity, say no to THKS, don't judge me I do not kiss, amongst others.

Some of our readers have requested for a post to be written on how to show their feelings toward their beloved and how they can appreciate each other.

I'm aware that some of you are of the view that it is not possible to maintain your purity when you are in a relationship.
I would love to read your comment about why you think it is not possible. Feel free to email me on

Part of my mission is to help you to learn the RIGHT WAY of dating/courting in this secular world.

For you to DARE to be DIFFERENT for God.

For you to 'UNLEARN' some of the wrong messages that you might have heard about relationships or wrong messages that might have fed your mind unconsciously.

I am of the view that once you start feeding your mind with the right knowledge, your views are likely to change, therefore, your actions would change. You are also likely to pass your new knowledge to other people.

I would encourage you and your spouse-to-be to learn each others love languages, if you are not in a relationship, you can also learn your love languages, click here for the long language quiz.

It is to be noted that your love languages may change in future, pending on your life experiences, renewal of minds, and the new knowledge that you are gaining on a daily basis.

If you are single and your love language happens to be 'physical touch', this will need to be addressed in your relationship, as you cannot engage in touching whilst you are courting.

You also need to examine why you like physical touch, you must ask yourself some questions (Why do I enjoy being touched? What would God do? Is their a hint of immorality when I am touched? Would God see it as an act of purity or lust?).

Here is the rebirth of the blog post that was written over a year ago, the post was written on 11th April 2013.

Click here to read the previous post and comments.

20 WAYS to show you love somebody (without having sex)

This list is not exhaustive.  Feel free to add to the list and share your ideas.

      1)    Make sure the other person feels important and respected. 

2)    Be there when they need a friend.

3)    Tell the other person you love them - Practice love by being: (Kind, patient, not to be jealous of each other, not to get upset easily,  not to keep record of wrongs, not being selfish, trust each other).

4)    Spend time together/Go for a meal/Go shopping/Share your interests and participate in both of your interests/pray together/fast together.

5)    Talk on the telephone, use modern technology to communicate.

6)    Read books and discuss them.

7)    Meet each other’s friends.

8)    Laugh at something funny together/Share jokes/Watch movies.

9)    Be faithful.

10) Go sightseeing/visit places together (Day trips).

11) Meet each other’s families.

12) Tell the person that you care.

13) Find out what makes each other happy.

14) Find out what makes the other sad.

15) Have your pictures taken together.

16) Go to a concert.

17) Give compliments.

18) Listen to each other’s worries and help each other. Devise a vision for your courtship. 

19)  Exchange gifts

20) Be best friends. Learn your strengths, habits and weaknesses. Discuss your future plans, learn about each other’s families, how to treat them, etc.

 Feel free to add to the list.

Be sociable and share this post with others.  A lot of singles/young people need to learn the right way of expressing their love. Kindly add to their knowledge by sharing this post.

- Myss Lafunky



Saturday 10 May 2014

I Cheated On My Fiancée: Should I Confess My Past Sin?

Hi Myss Lafunky,

My wedding is approaching, I cheated on my fiancée, I slept with my ex, it was my first time of having sex.
I have asked God for forgiveness. I want to tell my wife-to-be, however, I feel that if I inform her, she may call off the wedding. I don't want to tell her as God has forgiven me, and I have made a promise to God not to cheat anymore. I have also cut off every forms of communication with my ex.

What's your view?

Hi readers,

Please offer your view to the above issue.

Monday 5 May 2014


Happy Monday to my lovely followers and readers.

I have a confession to declare, there was a time that a number of my followers entered a competition on my blog, I posted the books to three of the winners, however, there are two people that have not yet received their books.  I've been thinking of the logistics of how I would post the books to your respective countries.  Please forgive me:). I will do something about it in due course.

From counselling people, my personal experience and discussions that I have had with people; it appears that young people are now taking a stand against pre-marital sex, it's great news and fantastic for young people to take such stand! This suggests that young people are being enlightened. 

Some young people believe that when they do not engage in sexual intercourse, they are not having pre-marital sex, therefore, they are not committing any sins. I used to have such notion in the past but thank God for trimming me using different means. I think some of our views may have stemmed from the teachings that we heard whilst growing up.  Growing up, the message about purity that I heard centred around keeping your virginity. Don't get me wrong, we must still continue to teach about keeping virginity, however, it must be combined with staying pure.

*I would advise that youth fellowship leaders, teenage ministers/teachers, singles ministry leaders, and anyone that usually counsel young people should incorporate teachings in relation to purity*.

God wants us to stay pure, He wants us to maintain our purity. He wants us to exercise self-control and keep ourselves pure.  

Someone once said that, her fiancée does not support sex before marriage, however, she is fine with kissing, caressing and oral sex, as long as she does not engage in sexual intercourse.  The fiancé also 'values' her virginity and he would like them to take things slow but still ensures that she keeps her virginity until their wedding night.

The question is,

What is the difference between Purity and Virginity

In line with the post below, kindly click here for tips that I implement.

The post below is written by Danielle Renfrow:

"Couples all over the world will claim they are “taking it slow” but what does this really  mean?

Does it mean the same thing to the both of them? Where do the physical boundaries start and end? 

I think when singles today discuss protecting one’s purity, they confuse “purity” with “virginity.”

The value is placed on whether or not one is a virgin, not if they have compromised any other part of their body or mind to maintain their virginity.

As a result, in many cases, one is technically physically still a virgin, but has compromised their body, mind, and heart to maintain their physical virginity. Consequently, failing to protect their purity. There is much more to living purely than abstaining from sexual intercourse.

Purity is a life style.  It is an everyday mode of being.  Purity is not a choice. It is an instruction from God. God created sex as something good. Genesis says He created it for us to enjoy and to reproduce, “to be fruitful and multiply.” This is why He has given us body parts that were specifically made for sexual pleasure and baby making.

However, God reserved sexual intimacy for the marriage relationship, and it is approved and blessed by God only in this context. Sexual activity represents a deep and powerful level of intimacy and vulnerability. By God’s intention, the only relationship God designed to thrive on and sustain this level of intimacy, is a godly, devoted marriage between man and woman, husband and wife.

All physical intimacy between man and woman was created by God. Physical intimacy (holding hands, touching, sex, etc) is natural. Of course, it feels good.

It is natural for a man and woman to want to further explore the nakedness of one another. It is natural to be stimulated or aroused by the sights, sounds, touch, or even smells of one another. I believe this is why it is so hard to live purely, because it is a constant fight against our flesh, of what is natural.

However, we have to remember that purity is a sacred gift from God.“Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun. And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And has given us this task of reconciling people to him.”
 (2 Corinthians 5:17-18).  When we surrender our hearts to Jesus we share in his glory with a renewed knowledge of God, a transformed way of thinking and behaving that begins to reflect God’s purity, His holiness, His spiritual wholeness.

So, what is the truth about sex and purity? God created sex; therefore, it is natural, but God gifted purity. Therefore, it is supernatural. The only reason we are called virgins is because we have not had sex, thus we have not progressed in the natural timeline of humanity. The only reason we call ourselves pure is because God called us pure. 

The definition of purity is to be morally clean without blemish . The only way we are morally clean without blemish is because of the blood of Jesus. Through Jesus’ perfect sacrifice on the Cross He calls us pure. Impurity is something that is unacceptable to God.  Therefore, by logic, purity could be defined as something that is acceptable to God.

So then, are you pure if you have never had sex? Not if you’ve been cheating the system in other ways. If purity was only based on sex, then after I got married I would no longer have to strive for a life of purity.

I never understood the value of my purity until I freely gave it away. I compromised my body, my mind, and heart because I was more concerned about how it felt and what my boyfriend at the time would think of me if I said No.

I always grew up with the desire that I would wait until my wedding night to have sex. After college, I started dating a man in my church. We never really discussed boundaries…I mean, why would we? He was a Christian. I was a Christian. No worries there, right? (Caveat!: Christians aren't immune to temptation! ) Discussing physical boundaries never took place until the heat of the moment when we potentially crossed lines. The temptation to further explore one another’s bodies was constant and the pressure was great.

In my mind, I always thought I would never do more than kissing before marriage. Just like all temptations, when we flirt with it for so long, it is only a matter of time before you do something you never thought you would do. I let him touch me in places that belonged to my husband. Lies of the enemy bombarded my mind. I became more concerned with the question, “How far is too far? ” rather than understanding what God meant by purity.

We Christians love the already defeated game of, “How much can I get away with and still be a Christian? ” I was alone, ashamed and had no one to talk to. I was so confused because I still had my virginity.

I grew up in the church and so many of the teachings on purity was about being a virgin for your husband. So, why was I so consumed with the shame and disappointment as if I had had sex? Even though I maintained my virginity, I gave away my purity.

It was clear to me that my actions at that moment were not acceptable to God’s standards. When I chose to be impure, I butchered the gift of purity in which Jesus died for. I realized that if I did not value my purity, a gift God gave me, then did I really value what Jesus did for me on the Cross?


I wondered a lot on how my future husband and I would protect our purity before marriage, and if I really had the strength to fight it. This was when the Lord began challenging me with the idea to not kiss my boyfriend.

My first response to the Lord was, “Absolutely not. What kind of man would even want to be with me once I told him we cannot kiss?

”Then God said to me, “Danielle, are you willing? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to protect your purity, the purity of your future husband, and your purity as one?

The choice to protect my purity, a gift that God gave me, began in my mind and in my heart first. Sometimes we have to get to a point where we are willing to do whatever it takes to keep us from compromising.

Sometimes we must be willing to do whatever it takes to protect ourselves from falling into the sins of our biggest temptations. Purity is now!"

- Danielle Renfrow

Are you willing to set physical boundaries with the person you are with, even though the world would say it is not normal?

Are you ready to take a stand for PURITY?  Are you willing to break a relationship with that special person who continually causes you to lust?

My lovely readers and followers, are you thinking Myss Lafunky does not understand your struggles? 

Trust me, I do, I bless God for transforming me and for the decision that I have made to ACCEPT and FOLLOW His ways. Please, do not think it is a myth to stay pure. It is Possible! I have taken a stand and some of my friends who are courting have also taken a stand, Myss Lafunky's blogspot is not writing a theoretical post but rather from experience and wisdom from God.

Take a stand for PURITY!  Click here for a post that I wrote that may guide you.

To our UK readers and followers, Happy Bank Holiday!

Be sociable and share this post with others

- Myss Lafunky