Tuesday 21 November 2017

Dilemma! Dilemma! What would you advise Jemimah?

Meet Jemimah (Pseudonym), a beautiful 25 year old single lady who was brought up with a silver spoon. Right from her childhood, she had various opportunities to travel to different countries in the world for holidays. She attended one of the Ivy League schools where she obtained a PhD in Aeronautical Engineering. As she was rounding off her PhD, she obtained a good job and she is doing well financially. 

Jemimah is perceived to be a spoilt brat and privileged young lady. Hence, she is envied by her friends. Infact, it is presumed by a lot of people that she has a lot of friends due to being educated and being from a wealthy background. However, Jemimah has no close friends.

Are you wondering why I am writing about Jemimah? There are some things that I love about her but she is in a bit of predicaments. Let's go back to the things that I love about Jemimah: 
  • Jemimah a lover of Jesus Christ
  • Jemimah gave her life to Christ at a young age, the age of 12
  • Jemimah does not believe in sex before marriage or kissing before marriage, she is waiting to marry her Prince Charming before she engages in any sexual activities
  • Jemimah is a giver
  • Jemimah does not compromise the truth
  • Jemimah stands for righteousness 
  • Jemimah does not allow peer pressure or things that are happening around the world or in her society affects her decision making
  • Jemimah regularly volunteers at her local church as a cleaner, and she also volunteers as a kitchen staff at her local homeless charity
  • I also love her elegant royalty dressing, Jeremiah dresses like a royalty in Christ, she never exposes herself and she is conscious of the style of clothes that she wears

****Despite all the beautiful things that I have written about Jemimah, she is in a predicament.****

****Jemimah has a lot on her mind*****

She would like to know your view about the following:

  • Jemimah met Femi (Pseudonym) at a party that she recently attended, Femi would like them to embark on a relationship, with the hope of getting married. What's not to like about Femi? Jemimah loves the fact that Femi is a good Christian man, from a good Christian background. He is well mannered and caring. He is also very intelligent. So, why does Jemimah have a lot on her mind about Femi? 

Jemimah's concerns are . . .

  • Femi is turning 45 next month, he is 20 years older than her and she is quite worried about the age difference. 
  • Femi is a Nurse and Jemimah does not believe Femi will be able to provide financially on a Nurse's salary and she has no intention of taking the financial responsibilities of providing for her home after marriage. Jemimah's wish is to marry a man that is about 1-5 years older than her and a man that is earning six figure salary.

Jemimah is seriously considering declining Femi's proposal due to his age and career. She has prayed to God about it but God has not given her a Yes or a No.

  1. Should Jemimah continue to pray to God for direction?
  2. Should she decline or accept Femi's proposal? 
  3. Should age difference and career be major factors to consider in a life partner? 
Photo Credit: www.viewbug.com


  1. Jemimah needs to first of all decide which is priority to her. God’s approval/will above all else, or her expectations. I won’t even complain about her expectations. For her, they are valid, and I’m sure she will meet someone that fits them sooner or later. But, what if God says Yes? Will she willingly (not grudgingly), accept to adapt herself to her own husband as the Bible admonishes (1 Peter 3:5)? I think she should sit down and clear all these first.

    1. Thank you for your comment. It's definitely important for Jemimah to be clear on her priorities. With marriage, it's Bette even to marry someone willingly and not grudgingly as once she is married, the person should become her one and only.

  2. 1.Jemaimah should continue praying to God till she gets clearity. 2.She shouldn't decline neither should she accept until she hears God's view about it,she should keep praying. 3.Age and salary shouldn't be a criteria, you can never tell now how far a man will go so far he is hard working and a child of God. The most important thing is the presence of the *LOVE* of God between the two..... My opinionšŸ˜Š

    1. Thank you for your comment. It's definitely important to keep praying. There's a scripture in Proverbs 12:19 that says that the truth stands the test of time. So if Femi is not the one, Femi will move on if he cannot wait for her to get clarity from God.

      I agree re: you can never tell how far an individual will go in life, as long there's evidence of hard work.

  3. Wow! A dilemma indeed.
    I, however, will try as much as possible to make my comment brief and straightforward.

    Jemima should just hold on. She should wait. As long as she has prayed and has not received any answer: either yes or no, then maybe Femi isn't the one OR he is the one but the time is not NOW.

    Having said that, from experience neither age nor career assures one of a successful marriage; only God. It's is very important that a man be financially capable of taking care of his family, so finances should not be taken with lightly. Age, on the other hand, is merely a number; so I won't say much on that.

    But, I believe they should start out as friends and she should let him know that they are just friends and it may not go beyond friendship except she gets a 'go ahead' from God. It maybe that either or both of them have a thing or two to learn from one another, which may very much help them in marriage (whether they get married to themselves or not).

    Bottom line is this: Philippians 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Should be her watchword and soon The God of all peace shall answer her speedily.

    Babes Lafunky, thanks so much for always inspiring me. It's been ages I read your blog, but as always I'm blessed and inspired.


    1. Thank you for your comment. Indeed, if Femi is the one and this is the right time, God would have revealed this to Jemimah.

      Thank you for reminding her of the importance of prayers an drew not worrying.

    2. You're welcome. I thank God for making me a vessel that can inspire others. Since it has been ages that you read my blog, kindly check out some of our recent posts, they have been very interesting and short short pieces to read.

  4. My advice for Jemimah is that she should depend on God for direction. Marriage is a long term contract and she should not be deceived by the physical things of life.So far the man is hardworking, God will prove himself. Jemimah should not rush into making decisions and it shall be well with her.

    1. God bless u Babes.....

    2. Amen. Thank you. I agree re: depending on God. Since she has a relationship with God, she can't go wrong with God's direction.
      Amen, it shall be well with her in Jesus name.

  5. I will say Jemima should keep praying. She should lay aside the flaws so she can hear from God. Age is no barrier. Keep up the good work babes..... TeeyWorld

    1. That's true, it is important to lay aside all the barriers. Infact, she can tell God about all the things she that she considers as limitations.

      Thank you for your comment Teeyworld.

  6. Thank you everyone for taking your time to comment. I have replied to each of your comment.

    1) I believe the most important principle has been highlighted already - PRAYER. Talking to God is important in ALL stages of any relationship, whether at the beginning, middle, during the wedding prep, during pre-marital counselling, before you say I DO and in the marriage.
    Above all, praying to God regarding the choice to make at this stage is very crucial. I would advise you to tell God about your concerns and all the things that you consider as essentials.

    2) Also, it is good that Femi shares the same Christian beliefs as you, as God wants Christians to marry those who follow Christ and His teachings.

    3) You also need to be clear as to whether you want to rely totally on God's preferences for you or your own judgement and opinion.

    4) Like others have said, you don't have to give Femi a Yes or a No answer, keep praying to God about Femi, tell God to speak to you as to whether you should go ahead with Femi. In the process of praying, Femi can choose to either wait or leave. Proverbs 12:19 says that the truth stands the test of time, if Femi is your husband, he will wait untill God has prepared you and you have heard a Yes from God. And if he is not the one, he will eventually move on with his life.

    5) I also would like you to know that because Femi had asked for you to embark in a relationship, it does not mean you must say yes to him. I wouldn't discount your preferences but I would suggest that you should take them to God since you have a relationship with God, ask God to tell you the type of man that He would like you to marry. Infact, God can give you every specific detail about your future husband.

    Finally, please know that whoever you choose to marry, remember that once you become married, your spouse becomes your one and only. Once you have made your choice, all other choices are off the table and you have become one flesh, a team and a unit.

  7. She should take her time to know what God is saying and not respond to his proposal until she is certain about God's response. She should not allow the man cajole or sweet-talk her into giving in to him. As a matter of fact, she should let him give her space. She shouldn't be carried away by constant calls from the man under the guise of wanting her to get to know him more and vice versa (that is if something like that is ongoing or tries to come up). She should insist on ample time to pray through. She should not let him in any manner, subtly or not, pressure her into responding to his proposal or even play any spirikoko card with her.

    This is necessary so that her ears do not get blocked to God's voice and her spirit becomes insensitive to His checks. These are truths I have always known and walked in but somehow, I once went against them unwittingly and it was only grace that rescued me. There were checks in my spirit but I did not recognise them. It was that bad. So we can say that I am speaking from experience.

    She should also note this, sometimes, our worries about certain suitors, so far we keep our minds renewed, are God's way of telling us it's a no-no. I had certain worries on the case I briefly mentioned above too but I thought I was being too picky and meticulous. I didn't know it was God discouraging me from the word go.

    Again, let her pray through and avoid calls and close interactions with the guy, even if it takes a whole year, because this one that she has worries and doubts, she can't afford to make any rash decision. Time is a good and natural test in matters like this.

    Finally, she shouldn't settle for less than God's best for her. She should not let people's opinion of her (that she is spoilt) push her to settle for less than the best. God is not an author of confusion. He is the best match-maker and won't give any of His children to a person they will manage or not be happy with.

    1. Thanks sis for stopping by. Writing from experience is good. I like the point that you raised about being careful of her communication with the guy and setting appropriate boundaries.

      Her worries and concerns can also be termed as a No response, they cannot be ignored.

      Definitely, the importance of time is very crucial even if it will take a year for her to have a response. Most people lack the patience to wait on God or sometimes they feel subtly pressurised from the prospective guy due to the guy's constant communication.

      In conclusion, God won't give her a spouse that she won't be happy with or a spouse that she would need to manage. God gives His children the best.

  8. Sister Mysses Lafunky, if jemimah is a real person, my advice is Do Not marry him-period. This I love him does not sustain a marriage.
    I can't type much but her fears are valid. Those fears are already directions the holy spirit has given her.
    1)no, God has given her the directions
    Answers to q1-3

    1. Thank you sis Isha Abi for stopping by. Indeed! Re: I love him does not sustain a marriage. From my little experience, it takes more than I love you to sustain a marriage.

      The bible says in 2 Timothy 1:7 that God has not given us the spirit of fear but of love, power and sound mind. Anything contrary to this, we are to avoid. Thank you for sharing that her fears are valid and should not be ignored, including her fears are directions the Holy Spirit has given her. Great points!