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The below story was triggered by a campaign that was launched through Stella Eyunruntella Ashe, with the tag "#I can wait" on Facebook. Stella has challenged the status quo by encouraging singles to stay chaste until marriage. You can find Stella's campaign on Facebook by searching for #I can wait.
I would like to thank the writer of today's post for allowing Myss Lafunky's blogspot to publish his story.
Abstaining From SeX
Abstaining from sex as a man in today's world is not a simple feat. From the moment you wake up, you're overwhelmed with nakedness from your TV to your church and from the bus stop to your office; I know how many half-naked women I encountered on Monday alone.
My own path wasn't made any easier since I was one of those who explored their sexuality early. At the time I didn't know Christ and I obviously enjoyed the thrill of it. Sex is fantastic and unless you're experiencing some issues of heart or mind, you're going to want to keep at it.
Which is why when I wasn't doing it at a point (no available babe that I liked) or not making out, I resorted to pornography to fill the void. I would surf the net for it, masturbate and start all over again. At a point, I was doing it up to four times a day! I was heavily addicted to it. Reality wasn't any better; I couldn't even go two steps without seeing a woman I wanted in bed.
I would go off feeling guilty and dirty, but I didn't stop. I would pray to God to take it away, not realizing that prayers without action meant nothing. So I started to work, I set up Kaspersky Antivirus and used it's featured parental function to block off porn sites. I used a random password I never memorized so I'd never be able to undo it.
I deleted my email and online Porn accounts. I spent more time away from females than I'd ever done. In fact, at a point, when a lady said hi, I'd think; "What? What is it? What do you want, now? Na wetin? Who are you and where are you from? Abeg go! I no want!"
I was often very harsh with ladies then and they never understood why and it was wisdom to NOT tell them why. It would have been courting trouble with the ones who would not mind that kind of adventure and then it would also be fodder for the ones among them who were certified gossips.
I wasn't blaming them really, but I just wanted to avoid such troubles. I knew sex was by choice and so were the other things I was doing so, I had to make choices to stop. There's a special group of Pharisees, according to history, called the "bloody Pharisees". They were so known because they claimed to avoid sin and lust by looking down at the ground as they walked. The result of which was that they fell into gutters, walked into walls, poles and people. They were walking accidents! I became one and while they became proud of themselves and used their injuries to boast of being righteous, I just wanted to do the right thing. I modified it to walking fast and always looking forward so I never see anything "odd", and if I did, I quickly crossed the road! In fact, at some point in my life, friends and family began to refer to me as the man who walks with his face in front of him, never looking right or left. Till this day, I'll sometimes slip into it subconsciously.
It's been a long hard road. Some days, all I've done is just switch off my phone and laptop and read my Bible or sleep. Other days I had to drink bottle after bottle of cold water as if I was a mermaid who was cast out of the sea! "All na format to hold body!"
Then after all the prayer and fasting, I come online and some special ladies have ventured into my inbox.
This one sends naked pictures, Block!
This one says she can take care of me and tells me how. I tell her Jesus is taking very good care of me. She no gree commot, Block!
The other one propositions me. Block!
Those ones want to come to my house because they heard pastors "do it" well. Block! Block!! Block!!!
*Spoils keypad and mouse while navigating and pressing block*
It’s not always hard, but some days, especially when you're in that "place" where you're thinking of being with someone special one day, the desire and pull can get very intense and one needs to be very cautious. I'm choosing to wait because I want to give all of me rightly this time and I want it to be with my wife. My own woman whose love and passion I can enjoy and have no regrets over.
Besides, I can't tell men about godliness and faith, if I am not interested in it. I can't tell men to not be promiscuous and play around, while spilling my precious seed in bed or with random women.
I can't lay claim to love God and wilfully have sex any time I want, without a care. This isn't about STDs or pregnancy, this is about being the man I know I'm called to be and being accountable.
The world has taught me that as a man I can sleep around and not care. It has taught me sex with multiple women, even when married, is my right. Jesus told me different. Jesus told me he made me and he wants me to save all my love and passion for one special woman he wants me to love, provide for and protect all my days. I choose to listen to Jesus. The world be damned.
I didn't wait, but I am waiting now…
- Author (Anonymous)
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