Wednesday 22 April 2015

Beware of Your Friends| Beware of Yourself

Hi Readers and Followers, 

How is your week going? If you wish to connect with me, you are welcome to contact me via or by commenting on the posts that I share.

Today's post stemmed from my daily bible study. As I was studying the book of Jeremiah, the Holy Spirit told me to ponder on the below scriptures:

Beware of your friends; do not trust anyone in your clan.
For every one of them is a deceiver, and every friend a slanderer. Friend deceives friend, and no one speaks the truth.
They have taught their tongues to lie; they weary themselves with sinning. (Jeremiah 9:4-5 NIV)." 

When I discovered the above scriptures, fear gripped me, I became scared and I examined myself, I questioned if I'd been a disloyal friend to others or even if I had lied to myself. In fact, I initially struggled to fathom the above scriptures.

Explanation of the above scriptures
God was fed up with the people of Judah and accused them of creating a culture of lies. In fact, the people of Judah couldn't trust each other, not even their friends. Their society had become so sinful that friends were deceiving friends; they deceived each other.

Isn't it difficult for us to think that most people that we know might be liars?  It is important to note that while some people lie, there are still people that do not lie or people that are conscious of not lying. Children of Jesus Christ are not to lie. To lie is to embrace the evil trait of the devil as he is the father and author of all lies, who, liars resemble and obey (John 8:44). When we lie, there's the tendency that we would extend the lie to cover up another lie, and the individual that has told a lie would struggle to disclose the truth. Lying questions our integrity as individuals. 

God wants us to be truthful in every relationship that we form, whether friendship, courtship, dating, work relations, online friendship including marriage. If we are dishonest with others, the relationship is likely to crumble; the relationship would be based on deceit and it would be superficial. 

Apostle Paul in the Bible encouraged us to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Paul said: "Instead, by speaking the truth in a spirit of love, we must grow up in every way to Christ, who is the head. (Ephesians 4:15 GNT) "

Do you know that God can guide you when you are developing close friendships with others? Tell God to help you to choose the right friends. Also, remember to be the right friend to others. Be a loyal friend, a friend that does not slander and a truthful friend.  There are two posts about friendships on Myss Lafunky's blogspot that are worth reading, kindly search my blog or Google with the blog name "Choosing Your Friends Wisely" and "Do Your Associations Bring Out the Best In You."

It is important that we guard our hearts and minds. We are all prone to believe and tell lies, even to ourselves and we daily face a tempter who is the father of Lies (John 8:44).

Honesty is very crucial. I have come to learn that being honest does not mean being brutal and uncompassionate. To be honest and truthful is to be genuine, to refuse to lie or deceive in any way. There is nothing so liberating as the truth. Truth is intertwined with love, trust, security, honesty and kindness. Therefore, embrace the freedom of truth in your lifestyle and in human relations.

Let's chat..
- If you sense that certain friends of yours are not being truthful with you, what would you do? Would the way you deal with it be influenced on whether they are Christians or non- Christians? 

- Myss Lafunky



    1. Thank you for your comment anonymous. Emphasis: "The gift of discerning of Spirit is essential in knowing who has good intent for us a friend and those with bad intent need be kept at distance."

    2. Just reading the posts & comments again & pondering on the phrase "the kind of friends one keeps will determine how far one will go"

      Jesus was friends with all sorts of people even Judas got to be Jesus's friend, so why do we think friends can change what God has ordained (I know at this point, some people will say but you are not Jesus na or are you? To that I wonder in response, aren't & shouldn't we be trying to be like Him?)

      The bible passage, evil communication corrupts good manners springs to mind but still I ponder...

    3. I guess it's a bold statement to state that 'the kind of friends one keeps WILL determine how far one will go in life'. It should be 'may'.

      Yes, the scripture you quoted is in 1 Corinthians 15:33. There are tons of other scriptures. Let me mention two.
      The Bible says that:
      Don't make friends with people who have hot, violent tempers. You might learn their habits and not be able to change. (‭Proverbs‬ ‭22‬:‭24-25‬ GNT).

      Well, people that would say "well, we are not Jesus", they are not exactly wrong, are they? Remember, we humans are sometimes led by our emotions or perhaps we are ignorant about some things before we venture into it while our Lord Jesus Christ knows all things.

      I believe it is wise to be careful of our associations. There's a post on my blog about 'do your associations bring out the best in you?' - Post was published on 29th May 2014.

  2. My initial response would be to reduce interaction with the aim of cutting ties but it truly depends on the level of friendship.
    The way the human nature works, the closer we are to an individual, the deeper the hurt, so whilst I might want to be quick to plead the forgiveness card, I know that practical steps must be taken to salvage the situation.
    It also depends on how repentant or relentless the friend in question is.
    I tend to be more cut throat with believers because I expect better but I also try to remind myself that believers are just people like me and sometimes get sucked into sticky situations.

    My motto is simple, if I can say it behind you then I can repeat it in front of you & I expect the same courtesy from my friends.

    1. I love your honesty but are there times that you have breached your motto? I know I have breached my motto of not grumbling about others.

      I agree, practical steps must be taken if necessary. Sometimes, we may need to ignore and learn from the situation.

    2. Oh yes I have, but only usually to my spouse. For that is my safe haven, my free space & I trust none other 100%.

      I learnt very early on in life that every word spoken is potential evidence, so I pick my words very carefully and find a way to say what's bugging me one way or another.

      A safety check I put in place for myself is to tell on myself. So for e.g I would say to a friend, "you know I had this discussion with xyz or anonymous the other day and like I told him/her abc" that way if xyz ever discusses the same issue & name drops, then we are all on the same page.
      Also I try my hardest to discuss my peeves with the person involved directly, middle men usually make a mess of issues.

    3. I like that. I shall implement the 'xyz' principle but you know some friends like to be direct and specific when they ask questions.

      You should read the post: keeping your business private. It was published last month. I would like to know your view about it.

    4. Oh funny you should mention the other post, I have typed two different comments 4 times, one as a response to another comment & another one including my tip but its not posting at all... Technical issues with blogspot maybe?

    5. Oh funny you should mention the other post, I have typed two different comments 4 times, one as a response to another comment & another one including my tip but its not posting at all... Technical issues with blogspot maybe?

    6. Oh really? I've seen your comments. It could have been due to technical issues. Some of my followers and readers have raised concerns about not being able to post on the blog.

    7. Possibly. Glad it has been sorted.
      Thanks :)

  3. The question to ask is why are they not being truthful? Have I made myself so unapproachable or so sensitive that my friends feel they need to be stepping on egg shells to say what they feel.

    I will discuss the issue, no need ignoring the pink elephant but I will make sure its after I have resolved residual feelings & what it is I intend to say (albeit impossible to completely resolve the feelings without hearing from the accused party).

    I would like to think that I wouldn't treat a non-christian any different to a christian because it takes me ages to make friends in the first place but something at the back of my mind tells me, ild cut non-christians some slack and blame their actions on not having a relationship with Christ, but then I do wonder, everyone has a conscience right? Murky waters for me :?

    Again, I am sensing, I am not sure, so its better I investigate or discuss.

    Although I have shared my opinion, I think the questions are too broad, if you could offer possible scenarios, it might help garner varied & interesting responses.

    1. Thanks. Let me give a scenario. Somebody rang me, the individual forgot to cut off the phone call, another friend was with her, before you could say Jack Robinson, this other friend (more of an acquaintance) started making negative remarks about me and I could hear. Although I didn't approach the person, however, I took necessary steps to reduce my communication with the individual.

      You are right, sometimes we give non- Christians friends more benefit of doubt than our fellow Christians. I guess we have to remember that, our understanding of the Word of God including how we apply the Word of God are different even amongst believers. Therefore, we must not think or even believe that we are the same.

  4. Wow! That's deep! Really sorry to hear you had that experience.

    I'ld start off with the story of Sheryl Underwood (host of the Talk) who I recently watched as she shared a similar experience, although this was in a professional capacity. She said she heard all these ladies said about her and she took out her pen and paper & began to jot them down, telling herself these were points to improve on & many years later, she can proudly say she has attained success, not neccessarily because of what they said but because of how she was able to manage the situation.

    Whilst I salute her response and think its applaudable, I doubt I would react the same way and can only hope I would put my emotions aside & learn from to act in a similar fashion.

    On the flip side, I have been told about situations where I had been discussed and the one thing that got me everytime was, did the person I deemed my friend defend me or did they kept quiet or even agree & have just come back to dish out the gist. I have had both good and bad, some friends have defended & told me they did and some others didn't and thought to tell me so that I could improve on an area they thought I was lacking in. My friends not defending me hurt more.
    I think the reason I think like that is because if I call you a friend, I should be able to cover your short comings in public, to people who dont know you as well as I do or even know your story or why you are the way you are & then lash you privately and let you know that in reality, the things said aren't far fetched and we could work on becoming better people together.

    As for the second individual, I would decide if its worth it. If it will take my peace away then I will speak to them, let them know that if they have any grudges or issues to trash out, I am all ears. If not, i will educate them on how to be better at being discreet (sarcastically).
    If I feel the relationship isn't worth it, I would keep my distance.

    Now, this is what my human mind would do but sometimes the Holy spirit would disagree & after arguing back and forth and trying to put forward my strong points, I will know exactly what is required of me & His will be the last word.

    1. Your comment is very instructive. I have learnt from it. Many Thanks anonymous.