Saturday 22 March 2014

The Honeyed Lips Of Death

Hi readers & followers,

Apologies for not publishing a post on Monday; I have had a busy week, a busy month of March.

Myss Lafunky was invited to a Christian radio show ‘Before I do’ on Hephzibah radio. It was my first guest appearance on a Christian show and I had a great time, thanks to people that tuned in. The show is usually on Thursdays, 7pm-9pm, download Hephzibah radio on your tablet, phones, etc and listen to it. It’s a great show.

As you know that, Myss Lafunky and her co-writers (Twale, Tosin, Ife & co) usually write post about relationship with people, relationship with your spouse, courtship, dating, and above all relationship with God.  We also take on the “Agony Aunt” role so, feel free to send in your comments, questions, contributions, etc. We shall be happy to help and we adhere to strict confidentiality.

Here goes the post…

I woke up, thinking and regretting marrying my husband. I had been told that God hates divorce and that I cannot leave my husband. Yet, the same Bible says that, you can divorce your spouse on the basis of adultery. So, why can’t I leave? I think I’m scared of what the society will say, I am scared of what people in my church will say, how can I bring up my daughter without her father? How can I continue to be a Deaconess in church as a single mother? Would my title be removed from me?  What can I do?  I am hopeless, actually, I shouldn’t vocalise my thought of hopelessness as that’s not biblical…as the Bible says that…life and death are in the power of the tongue.

Today marks the 2nd year that I married my husband, I courted my husband for 8 months and although I didn’t really know my husband very well before I agreed to marry him, I trusted that God will guide and lead me right since I’m His daughter. Since the day that I married my husband, I had suspected my husband to be cheating. He answered strange phone calls away from where I could listen to his conversation and inappropriate text messages from a particular number lurked on my husband’s phone. When I challenged my husband about the text messages, he denied anything was going on and blamed it on his number being available to anyone in his organisation who had access to the staff contact directory. I became a detective and a prayer warrior in my house. Since the Bible says that faith without action is dead, I decided to continue to monitor my husband’s phone including his social media accounts and I embarked on serious prayers, in fact, I went on marathon prayers; I prayed naked, I fasted and I did so many other things, yet, the calls and messages continued.

Not too long after my suspicion grew, I requested that my husband used protection before we could be intimate physically but he said that I didn’t trust him and he was angry that I even suggested it. But I was losing my mind! I reported the issue to our pastor and the head of his department but they couldn’t believe me, they looked puzzled and one of the leaders even said: “Bro Zee is such a good man, helpful, available, humble, gentle and sound in the Word.

Nobody seemed to believe me!!! Though I became more persistent in my prayers, I eventually became depressed at home and at work, my colleagues wondered what was wrong with me but I couldn’t  say much more than “I’m just passing through a phase in my marriage.” Soon, I started reducing going to church programmes as I felt that the leaders I had spoken to about my marriage were supporting my husband and not doing much to help me, they were judging my husband by what he portrayed to them in church. The depression was becoming evident in many areas of my life much like a cancerous growth.

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse than it already was, the worst up heaved its head; I got infected with Gonorrhoea! I just couldn’t explain how I got it because the only person I had ever been intimate with since my marriage was my dear husband. When I told my husband about it, he busted out in anger. His notion was that I had been living a promiscuous life and been “gracefully” rewarded for my actions. He made it clear to me then that he didn’t want me to get him infected so, he wouldn’t be making love with me till I was cleared of the infection. “God!! What have I done to deserve all this?” I cried.

But last Mothers Sunday, the Sun came piercing through my dark cloud. During the morning charge in my church, my husband told the Pastor that he had something to share to everyone. He knelt in front of me and openly apologised to me. He said he had offended God and his wife and he needed to stop his pretence and put things straight. My husband shared with everyone that prior to getting married, he got into a fling with one of his work colleagues and he had kept the relationship up until the month before that Sunday. He told the church workers that he has ended the relationship and he would like to seek God’s mercy openly and also, he would like to step down from his position as a Deacon until God directed him to resume that office. Furthermore, he shared with everyone that, he would like to thank me, his wife, for not leaving him and he apologised for living a life of pretence.

Although it was difficult to forgive my husband, I had to forgive him as Jesus forgave me of all that I had done. I am also grateful that my husband was able to realise his mistake and take a U-turn. It hasn’t been an easy journey I must say but we continued to pray and helped each other on a daily basis.

Now, it’s been 5 years down the line since this happened, today is our 7th Wedding anniversary and my husband now has a ministry of helping and teaching both single and married men about the importance of staying pure.

Proverbs 5:3-4 (NLT) says:
The lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil.  But the result is as bitter as poison, sharp as double-edged sword.

The lips here that ‘are as sweet as honey’, are the lips of the third party, that person outside the marriage. The attraction may seem indescribably wonderful, the kisses are as if one had never been kissed before, but all this is just an illusion.  For what was once sweet will soon turn bitter, it will dry one’s spirit like a poison saps one’s strength, and will pierce through hearts with great pain.
The admonition is clear; it is wise to STAY AWAY from honeyed lips.

Men and women, rejoice in the wife or husband of your youth. The Bible says that you will find much blessing if you rejoice in her (Proverbs 5:18).  Create no room for adultery, violence, coldness, disdain, negative influence of third parties but rather, welcome warmth, love, laughter, happiness, contentment, positive intimacy with each other.

-          Myss Lafunky 


  1. Lovely write-up. I like. She went through a rough patch but with God in control, it all came good. No one is perfect but forgiveness is key in a relationship, most especially, marriage.

    1. Thank you Ope. Watch out for the concluding part next week, from the husband's perspective.

  2. Lovely post. She went through a tough patch but God took her through. Forgiveness is key in a relationship ESPECIALLY in marriage.

  3. The write up is a beautiful one which places certain realities of relationships and marriage on the floor. the wife stayed cos she had being led into the marriage by God and knew how to resort to God who initiated the marriage from the beginning when things were not so well. the man on the other hand having gone on the wrong part realised his deviation and went back to the initiator of his marriage from the onset. anything initiated by God can face challenges but God is ever ready to heal any structure when one returns repentantly.
    the underlining question from this piece is who initiated our relationships/marital homes?
    God is the best rsort when there are troubled times. man could take sides but God would always uphold the truth and see to balance both sides at the end of the day. Learn to always resort to God when the road is rough

    1. Thank you Anonymous for your comment. God certainly paid a big role in her marriage.