Hi readers and followers,
Below post is amazing. The writer is very eloquent in her writing. Heather literally wrote what I had in my thought.
Kindly check out her blog: http://heatherllindsey.blogspot.co.uk
Whenever I talk about homosexuality being a sin, politics, sex outside of marriage and secular music-- people get fired up! I mean, they get plain MAD at me! HOW DARE YOU HEATHER! How DARE you JUDGE them. If I post that God wants your heart-- you say AMEN! But if I challenge your music, you say- "don't judge me. Sadly, we are a church that is constantly being divided against itself (Amos 3:3) and we cannot stand because we rationalize certain areas of our life that we aren't quite ready to let go of. To be totally honest with you, I didn't judge you.
The bible judged you & it judged you as wrong. It is God alone that placed those standards in the bible and as humans, we aren't to argue them, but to obey them. The bible is so clear on certain areas of our life but then we refuse to read it and let our feelings lead our life. We compare & contrast sin & say.. "I can't judge you because I got sin in my own life."
Your sin cannot blot out another person's sin-- so instead of rationalizing and comparing sins, let's pursue holiness. Let's pursue righteousness! I'm not saying that I'm perfect or that you'll never sin. The difference is this: When you are not saved, you pursue SIN. When you are saved, you pursue Christ.For example, a practising homosexual cannot be saved because they pursue and continue IN their sin-- even if they have conviction about it. A practising fornicator isn't saved because they stay in the bed and continue to have sex and ignore the truth. (read 1 John). How can we say that we love Jesus if we continue to run after things that He's made so clear to us to stay away from in our lives?
John 3:19 And the judgement is based on this fact: God's light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil.
I don't listen to secular music, not because I think I'm better than anyone-- I just understand that MUSIC plants seeds in your heart. . Search the heart behind the person that is singing the song. Does their heart belong to the Father? As you read these words, they plant seeds in your heart. When a pastor that preaches the word correctly, preaches-- it plants seeds in your heart.. so when a rapper raps into your ear it doesn't? I can assure you that there's some things going on in your life as a direct result of what you've been watching and listening to on a regular basis.
Don't you know that Satan was over music in heaven before he got kicked out? But of course he's going for you here on this earth! And the words can even appear to be "safe" but that paired with who is singing it-- it's planting the wrong seeds in your heart.
For example, If you're trying to get over an ex-- you can't sit and listen to Adele all day. You think she's helping you to get over them but you're actually becoming more focused on the situation versus allowing God to heal your broken heart. The more you listen to those songs, the deeper the bitterness grows into your heart and all the while Christ is pulling on you! He's saying, "Focus on this one thing:Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead (Philippines 3:13)!!"
Most of that music focuses in on YOU. Music's purpose is to glorify GOD and not self. So, if you're struggling with listening to different rappers or R & B music, ask God to help you. Instead of getting mad at me for telling you that the bible tells us to guard our hearts, ask God to show you why it makes you so upset!
Lets get back to this judging thing. I think it's so important to talk about one of the most uninterrupted scriptures in the bible.
This is an issue that has confused many people. On one hand, we are commanded by the Lord Jesus, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged” (Matthew 7:1) Christians are often accused of "judging" whenever they speak out against a sinful activity. However, that is not the meaning of the Scripture verses that state, "Do not judge." There is a righteous kind of judgement we are supposed to exercise—with careful discernment (John 7:24). When Jesus told us not to judge (Matthew 7:1), He was telling us not to judge hypocritically. Meaning this, I am telling YOU not to do something but secretly, I am doing it.
Matthew 7:2-5 declares, "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." What Jesus was condemning here was hypocritical, self-righteous judgements of others.
In Matthew 7:2-5, Jesus warns against judging someone else for his sin when you yourself are sinning even worse. That is the kind of judging Jesus commanded us not to do. If a believer sees another believer sinning, it is his Christian DUTY to lovingly and respectfully confront the person with his sin (Matthew 18:15-17). This is not judging, but rather pointing out the truth in hope—and with the ultimate goal—of bringing repentance in the other person (James 5:20) and restoration to the fellowship.
We are to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). We are to proclaim what God's Word says about sin. 2 Timothy 4:2 tells us, "Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage — with great patience and careful instruction." We are to "judge" sin, but always with the goal of presenting the solution for sin and its consequences—the Lord Jesus Christ (John 14:6).
Do you see the difference? "Do not judge" is not some blanket statement that we make in our efforts to pat others on the back and make them feel okay about their sin. The bible tells us to tell our other sisters and brothers in LOVE. So if a proclaiming Christian is living a certain way, it's okay to be God-led to pull her or him aside and talk with them. Even if they reject what you have to say-- doesn't mean you stop correcting.
Even if that means you say after praying to the Lord about it, "sis, you know I love you, please don't get upset with me but-- the guy your dating isn't saved. The bible tells us not to be unequally yoked. You used to be so on fire for God, but it's changed since you started dating him." Just make sure that while you're helping them sweep off their porch, that you've swept off your own in that area. You cannot be sleeping with your boyfriend-- keeping him in your bed every night but then trying to tell someone that they need to stop doing the same thing. How does that work?
We must take our own advice. You ruin your witness when you're doing the SAME thing & preaching against it (and this is what the bible is saying, don't judge hypocritically). It seems like we ALWAYS have all this word for somebody else but all of the word we have for them, isn't working for us. If you've approached your sister in Christ about an area and she has decided to continue in her sin, then just PRAY for her. This doesn't mean you get mad at her or whatever else-- it means that you take her before God and CRY out to HIM on HER behalf. Ask yourself.. do you cry on behalf of your sisters or brothers sins or do you gossip about them? If your heart is pure in your approach-- you'll find that you'll get results.
If you're talking DOWN to that person, you won't get anywhere. It's not in what you say but HOW you say it. So, be sweet when you do talk to that person. Remember that you're not GOD and if they reject you, know that they rejected Him first. At times, we just plant the seeds and it's GOD alone that waters them. If you have zero relationship with a person-- you cannot expect them to receive from you either.
They aren't confident that you even know them well enough to speak into their life, on their situation and if you don't know them and you're trying to speak into their life its most likely because you're assuming which thus makes you unqualified to speak into their heart. Now, if you don't know the person.. and God tells you to do it--- DO it. Obey quickly. This isn't a formula for anything-- in everything we do, we should be God-led.
So, instead of thinking of all the people you're going to correct tomorrow-- Go to the Lord and ask Him to correct and wreck YOU. We must be first humble & not self righteous in our approach. I have learned this in "correcting" people-- you cannot WANT that person to change MORE than they want to change. Remember this-- that if we really believed that prayer really works, why would we stop?
So, the next time someone throws the word "judge" around, remember as Christians we are to righteously judge one another based on the truth of the bible-- unbelievers have already been judged as they live in darkness. Pray for their salvation instead of screaming at their sin.. they don't belong to the Father-- what else do you expect for them to do?
Mysses Lafunky's Faith Blog is a Christian writing ministry, founded in 2012. It focuses on equipping Christians to be more like Christ in their everyday living.
Monday, 9 September 2013
Monday, 2 September 2013
GOD OR MAN: WHICH IS SUITABLE AS A MENTOR. Part 2
Happy Monday readers and followers. Here is the part 2 of the post: who should be our mentor, God or Man? Be blessed as you read.
Man’s knowledge on a matter is
anchored on the level of exposure. It is
normal saying that what a young person sees whilst standing cannot be compared
to what the old man will see whilst sitting; as true as this notion is that there
are new developments everyday which
would make for a deeper appreciation of things.
The Wright brothers developed
the aircraft in the manner they conceived it and others saw the need for better
aircraft and have since improved on aircraft designs hence anyone who saw the
Wright brothers as good designers of the aircraft model out of a passion for
aircraft and placed them as mentors would be doing a good thing for himself,
however if the Wright brothers did not upgrade their knowledge on aircraft such
individual looking up to them would be a what I would call a disadvantaged
position.
The errors of man are numerous
but God alone stands as perfect and error free thereby making him the perfect
mentor. Hebrews said looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith. Creation acknowledges Jesus and even today
science recognises a supreme being who put things in place and still attempts
to answering some questions which they may actually never be able to answer only
God can answer such answers.
There is no
error in all that God created even man. Man
interestingly tried to create men but failed which shows the imperfection in
man. Man cannot be a suitable mentor for
another. Paul never saw himself as perfect hence he pointed people to Christ.
Any answer Paul gave which was correct was because of his recognition of God as
his mentor.
Advocates of mentorship today would
point you to fellow men that they call authorities in specific field but it
suffices to say that these so-called authorities have their imperfections. Pastors who have being looked unto by men
have made errors and become too full of themselves to admit such errors because
they feel none would look to them anymore. Men seek to be mentors by force today to
fellow men but things flop. It would be
preferable to place God in the place of mentor and focus on him to do what He
alone is perfect in doing.
Man should understand he needs
fellow man to survive and should not idolise any man, as idols don’t last, they
can lose touch with events and proffer wrong solutions to pressing issues which
the mentored present to them and push such into problems as the mentored may
not likely rethink what they have heard or been advised to do.
Parents ought to be the best mentors for
their children ideally but how many parents update themselves on the various
stages of growth of their wards as well as the challenges so as to relate with
them from an appropriate standpoint?
Is
it not the case that these wards look elsewhere for individuals (man) who would
be able to relate with them and take such as mentors? It’s the few wards that look to Jesus that
thrive best and do well though they recognise the men placed around them as
destiny helpers without attaching any preference to them.
God is the perfect mentor for man
as he does his role very well in instruction, in guidance, in counsel in
example and in teaching. Man is never a mentor good enough in instruction,
guidance, counsel, and example and teaching but serves as a magnet to others
due to the good attributes he may possess which are worth emulating.
- Oluwatosin Olatoye
About the writer: Tosin is a trained Lawyer. He is single and lives in Warri, Nigeria. Tosin has a passion for God and everything to do with living right for God. Since I have known Tosin, every conversation that we have always revolves around building our faith in Christ.
Monday, 26 August 2013
Should Friendships be Based on our Marital Status?
Happy Bank holiday to readers and followers in England. For many of us, it is a pleasant day off work, school, etc. Some of us may choose to take a short trip, weekend away, shopping, time to the sea side, a day out with our loved ones, Notting Hill Carnival, etc. Others use today to catch up with friends, family, their children or do home maintenance.
Have fun everyone!!! If you don't know what to do, why not take a walk to the park, walk down your street, read inspiring blogs online, watch a movie online, read the book of Proverbs in the Bible.
Some of my friends and sisters had discussions about friendships with our married friends. Some have found that, once their girlfriends tied the knot, they automatically stopped contacting them, they reduce talking to them, they act as if they are superior to them, etc. Some states that their single friends are likely to influence them negatively and they probably won't understand their burdens/marriage issues, hence they are advised during pre-marital counselling to stay away from their single friends.
I've only had one or two encounters in relation to my married friends ignoring me. I was shocked initially but I comforted myself with the Word of God, especially the scripture that states that, "at the appointed time...." Nonetheless, it is to be noted that I have friends who regularly keep in touch despite being married. Kudos to them!!! I have learnt a few things from them.
Have you experienced your friends cutting you off after they tied the knot?
Do you as a single lady/man cut off with your married friends once they tie the knot?
Should our friendships be based on our marital status? I'm aware that there are more issues apart from marital status, it could be not giving birth on time could also cause a drift in friendship.
Your comments are welcome!
- Myss Lafunky
Have fun everyone!!! If you don't know what to do, why not take a walk to the park, walk down your street, read inspiring blogs online, watch a movie online, read the book of Proverbs in the Bible.
Some of my friends and sisters had discussions about friendships with our married friends. Some have found that, once their girlfriends tied the knot, they automatically stopped contacting them, they reduce talking to them, they act as if they are superior to them, etc. Some states that their single friends are likely to influence them negatively and they probably won't understand their burdens/marriage issues, hence they are advised during pre-marital counselling to stay away from their single friends.
I've only had one or two encounters in relation to my married friends ignoring me. I was shocked initially but I comforted myself with the Word of God, especially the scripture that states that, "at the appointed time...." Nonetheless, it is to be noted that I have friends who regularly keep in touch despite being married. Kudos to them!!! I have learnt a few things from them.
Have you experienced your friends cutting you off after they tied the knot?
Do you as a single lady/man cut off with your married friends once they tie the knot?
Should our friendships be based on our marital status? I'm aware that there are more issues apart from marital status, it could be not giving birth on time could also cause a drift in friendship.
Are singles known to influence their married friends negatively?
Your comments are welcome!
- Myss Lafunky
Monday, 19 August 2013
GOD OR MAN: WHICH IS SUITABLE AS A MENTOR. Part 1
Hi readers and followers,
Happy Monday!
Wishing you a lovely and productive week.
The below post is by my friend-Tosin, a regular writer on my blog.
GOD OR MAN: WHICH IS SUITABLE AS A MENTOR. Part 1
Happy Monday!
Wishing you a lovely and productive week.
The below post is by my friend-Tosin, a regular writer on my blog.
GOD OR MAN: WHICH IS SUITABLE AS A MENTOR. Part 1
The relationship between men can
be likened to be a very strong magnetic field as men require each other to
survive. Irrespective of the struggle to attain independence which is often
attained in terms of individual men being able to decide for themselves what
they require, what they want and what they would love to see attained,
does not remove in anyway whatsoever the need for interaction with other fellow
men who share like minds, similar vision, similar motivation as well as similar
beliefs.
It is not strange among men to
have a man standing in the capacity of Mentor for reasons not usually beyond
the truth that such person has achieved something which is enviable and could
be taught to another so as to become like such person. Mentorship seems to
relate properly with the word ‘perfection’. This relationship is so because
when man looks up to another he sees as perfect example and takes every
utterance made as a stamp print of what things ought to be even when such
person classified mentor is in error as he too is in learning process though
it’s never in the open to the mentored nor is it admitted in the open that the
issue on the floor is not known.
For the believer man does not
qualify to be a mentor simply because man is not the best example for fellow
man. Man relationship with each other would rather be likened to magnet; which
are attracted to each other for specific reasons. Scriptures encourage
fellowship with one another as iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). The fact that there is a
spiritual grace on another does not place such as superior or perfect over the
other but rather puts such man in a position to offer something that has made
him as he is.
Every man has a good quality or the other as well as a bad
quality which can be added to another or sought to be removed from another for
instance a giver would love to see another who is stingy to develop the habit of
giving because of blessings associated with giving more, so giving reaches out
to others and opens doors rather than blocking avenues to be blessed or
blocking opportunities and in the same vein a thief will not want to show
another the path to steal because of the many troubles associated with it but
would rather require one to lead him out of it or he would be planning on how a
final operation could be done for the jinx to be broken.
Paul told the early church to be
followers of him (Paul) as he was of Christ. Christ was higher than Paul in all
ramifications and had the best of answers to the questions of Paul. When Paul
was formerly Saul it was Christ who appeared to him knowing Paul never knew the
implication of what he was doing and gave him a better job to do which had
higher and better benefit as money. What Paul was getting as a murderer was
nothing compared to the eternal riches which could be attained upon submission
to Christ..
Christ had the better option and alternative. Man would always have
an option as the Pharisees and Sadducees had when Christ was on earth but their option or stand was inferior to Christ
in all ways so though some persons looked up to them as mentors they were
getting something inferior. The
disciples had the perfect mentor with them hence they could align themselves
with all they heard from him in response to their questions and to what he
shared with them even after he had ascended back to heaven and sent the Holy
Spirit to continue with them.
Man cannot have Christ as a
mentor and still put his hope on fellow man. No singular man has all the
answers but Christ has. Our professors, lecturers, teachers, pastors, colleagues and family lack 100% answers to the issues that bug or plague us, they only give us
opinionated responses based on the extent to which they know and a new
acquisition of knowledge can cause them to change their standpoint earlier
presented which displaces them from being true mentors.
Mentors are known for
providing correct answers which can stand the time but when answers can change
or be questioned when man is involved the ideal of having a mentor as a man is
in question.
Part 2 of this post will be available next week Monday morning. Watch out for it.
- Oluwatosin Olatoye
About the writer: Tosin is a trained Lawyer. He is single and lives in Warri, Nigeria. Tosin has a passion for God and everything to do with living right for God. Since I have known Tosin, every conversation that we have always revolves around building our faith in Christ.
Thank you so much Tosin.
Be sociable and share this post!
Friday, 16 August 2013
TGIF..When single ladies hang out.... here it goes..
It is to be
noted that not all single ladies are SSS (Seriously Single and Searching). The
term ‘single’ is used to describe people that are not married. Some of my girlfriends are not SSS.
I'm not sure
if you are aware, I actually derive satisfaction when I engage in discussions
that pertain to relationships.
My
girlfriends and I hung out recently. We engaged in various discussions ranging
from sex in marriage, the wedding night, the role of a man in marriage, the
role of the wife in marriage, our parents’ generation/how the men took the
financial responsibilities, etc. We also discussed the wedding proposal.
Basically,
most (male) celebrities are proposing to their girlfriends by purchasing exotic cars
(Range Rover, Bentley, Audi, etc) as proposal gifts. The marriage proposal is one of the
most incredible and memorable moments in every woman’s life - One of the
happiest days of a lady. The engagement is a prelude to marriage. The proposal
sometimes comes with a beautiful ring (Would you inform your guy the type of ring that you would like?). Some guys also look forward to the day
that they will propose to their special lady.
We all said
that male celebrities are setting the standard; therefore our Christian men must
do better.
Our
discussions entailed:
Girlfriend A:
I would love my hubby-to-be to take me on an inclusive/exclusive trip abroad, and he should
propose to me while we are on holiday. In order not to defile the marriage bed,
I will sleep in a different room in the hotel.
Girlfriend B:
I wouldn't want my guy to propose in a public place because I view proposal as an intimate act. My guy knows the type of lady that I am; therefore I'm expecting him to have
put a lot of thought and creativity into it.
Girlfriend C:
I don’t really mind how my man proposes as long as we marry.
Girlfriend D:
I don’t mind the cost of the engagement ring neither do I mind the location
that he is going to pop the question, all I want is for us to marry and to
build our home.
Girlfriend E:
He is aware that he must give me a ring, if the ring is too expensive, I would find
a way for us to return the ring and save the money for our future home.
Male friend A: My proposal ring for my babe will be worth 3 times of my salary.
Married
friend A: I didn't propose to my wife, I didn't give her an engagement ring. I
just told her that it is about time we chose a wedding date.
Married
friend B: My husband did not give me an engagement ring, if he had, I would have been too embarrassed
to wear it.
During the
above discussions, we were all shouting on top of our voices, we all wanted to
get our views across.
By the way,
some of the guys said that, celebrities are people of the world, they are
not Born Again Christians, and therefore Christians single ladies must not expect their hubby-to-be
to give them a brand new car/an expensive gift for wedding proposal. Also, it was argued that an engagement ring is not biblical. One of the guys expressed that the greatest gift
that a Christian single man can give to his girlfriend is a Bible. Seriously Bible???
Someone else asked,
what if after the proposal, the couple decide to separate, would the expensive
gift be returned with the engagement ring? Some of my girlfriends said that
they would not return the expensive gift, however they would return the
engagement ring. To show you are a responsible adult and for God not to hold you accountable, it is advisable to return the ring and any gifts to one's ex.
What are your
views?
Must a guy
propose before you can choose your wedding date?
Are expensive
gifts pre-requisite for proposal?
Did your
husband propose to you?
Did you
propose to your wife?
What is your
understanding of proposal?
Wednesday, 14 August 2013
Would you eat the foods?
Hi readers and followers, my sincere
apologies for being silent. I have just
realised that I haven’t posted for the last two weeks. Thanks to those that asked why I have not posted any articles, and my sincere gratitude to friends that are eager to write on my
blog, and finally, I appreciate readers and followers that informed me about
things that they have learnt from my blog.
It’s interesting some of the things that people have mentioned.
Back to the main topic, before I
wander off. Were you aware that it was Eid/Muslim celebration recently?
I was within a group where the people that I was with brought tantalising foods and drinks for us to celebrate Eid. Since I decided to allow Christ to live
through me, I have been cautious of eating religious celebration foods except for
Christmas and Easter. I believed that
as Born Again Christians, we are not to eat celebration foods apart for
Christmas and Easter foods. Am I being rigid with godly principles?
Recently, I was tempted to let my
guard down. The aroma of various delicacies that I perceived were irresistible, I couldn't oppose eating the foods. I asked an acquaintance what the foods were for, and
I was told that we were celebrating Eid. I totally ignored my view about not
eating celebration foods other than that of Christmas and Easter, I took a plate and fork, I went to the eating
area and I helped myself to the buffet or like my friend called it ‘unlimited
foods’.
While I was eating the foods, I
contacted Mr S and I told him about it.
He was actually shocked that I ate the foods, the first question that he
asked me was, “I thought you don’t eat other celebration foods?” My response “Oh yes, I don’t but I couldn't resist the aroma and all the colourful foods around me. Also, didn't God say
that we should rejoice with those who rejoice?” After my discussion with Mr S, I felt really guilty for eating the food.
Mr S advised me to read 1 Corinthians
8 and Romans 14. Just to let you know that despite Mr S being a Spirit filled
Born Again Christian, he does not have a problem with eating other celebration
foods. He is of the view that all things
were made by God and once he has blessed the foods, he has not sinned. I took my time to study 1 Corinthians 8 and Romans 14 (I would advise you to read it as well). My conclusion and understanding from reading those
scriptures are:
I must not condemn other Christians
that eat celebration foods apart from Christmas and Easter foods.
All foods are right to eat but it is
wrong to eat what causes others with a weaker conscience to stumble or sin. If it does, I
must not eat it. But how would I know
that it would cause others to sin?
It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that will cause your brother or sister to sin.
I must also ensure that if others view
me as someone that is biblically knowledgeable, they may violate their
conscience by eating such foods because they have seen me.
There is only one God – Our Father
through our Lord Jesus Christ, all things came from him and we live for him.
All things were made through him.
In the kingdom of God, eating and drinking are not
important. The important things are living right with God, peace, and joy in
the Holy Spirit.
Finally, Romans 14 verse 23 states that “If you have doubts about whether or not you
should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you
do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning”.
Given
that I had doubts for eating the foods, I would not eat it in the future. I must however remember that I cannot condemn
other believers.
- Myss
Lafunky
Do you
eat celebration foods?
What if
you and your partner share different perspectives about eating celebration
foods?
How would you compromise?
How would you bring up your children in regards to this?
How would you compromise?
How would you bring up your children in regards to this?
Thursday, 1 August 2013
Letting Go Of Anger
Hi readers, how is your week going? I
can’t believe it’s the first day of August.
If it had not been
for the Lord, where would I be? I thank God for the month of August. God
has kept us from 1st Jan -1st August 2013. Some people are sick, some have passed away, some people are rejoicing in great blessings, some people
have celebrated their birthdays, some people have married, people have
celebrated their wedding anniversary, some have started a new relationship, and
some people have given birth. Some people have graduated. Some have broken up, some people have obtained promotion and some people have relocated.
A lot has happened already in this year 2013. I bless Jesus for the
remaining 5 months.
Basically, I have been pondering on
how we Christians manage our anger.
Anger is known to be the most violent of human emotions. I read an article recently on a blog, the lady
was extremely angry with her cousin who drove her car to a different city
without notifying her. She was infuriated. People advised her not to ever allow
her cousin to use her car anymore. Some people said they would have cursed their
cousin.
Having read the article, I deliberated
on Christian conduct. How would I react if my cousin drove my car to a different city without my permission?
When you become a Christian, your
conduct and character should undergo certain changes. One of these changes has to do with outbursts
of anger, temper, getting annoyed easily with others, trying to get your own
way at all times, being selfish, etc. As
Christians, we are to react in a ‘Christian way’ in terms of our anger and
temper. We should not lose our temper easily.
Are you thinking to yourself, how I do
react in a 'Christian way' when person A lied against me?
Managing my Anger...
I must state that I still get angry;
however, I continue to open my heart to accommodate offences and I am learning to forgive
easily. Although this is my guide, I
also ensure that I do not speak when I am angry, as I’d previously noted that
I had said unpleasant things when I was angry.
The key tip that I was given is:
“To be slow to speak”, which can be
linked to the Bible scripture below:
“Remember this, my dear
brothers and sisters: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and
should not get angry easily. An
angry person doesn’t do what God approves of. So get rid of all immoral behaviour and
all the wicked things you do. Humbly accept the word that God has placed in
you. This word can save you”
(James 1:19-21).
Also, I usually pray to God about the
offence and the individual that has offended me. Once this has been done, I
ensure that I do not dislike the offender. Isn't it strange that while I may categorise an individual to be an
offender, the person may also see me as an offender? Hmm...
"If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself [deny flesh], and take up his cross daily, and follow Me."
- Myss Lafunky
Before concluding this post, I would
like to suggest TEN practical steps for anger management (from a Christian
perspective):
1) Admit your anger:
When you become angry, admit it. Don’t deny and say that you are not angry when it is apparent.
2) Tell God about it: Tell
God about what makes you angry, tell God to help you with your emotions. Tell
Him continuously. Continue to tell Him until you see a change in yourself.
3) Do not speak when you are angry: Your words are likely to hurt others
when you speak, your words may be used against you when you speak whilst being
angry. In addition, when we are angry, we tend to speak harsh words.
4) In silence shall your strength be (Isaiah 30:15b). A friend of mine once told me that 1000
words cannot give you the power in silence.
5) A gentle
answer deflects anger,
but harsh words make tempers flare (Proverbs 15:1). Therefore, we need to learn to be soft-spoken.
6) Be kind with your words: Your kindness will reward you,
but your cruelty will destroy you (Proverbs 11:17).
7) Consider others people’s points of view. Do not
be quick to get angry, because anger is typical of fools (Ecclesiastes 7:9).
8) Don’t express your anger immediately: A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise
man quietly holds it back (Proverbs 29:11).
9) Speak when you are calm and not angry.
10) Deny your flesh (self): When you are a born again Christian,
it is not God that allows you to get angry. When you get angry as a Christian,
you become angry outside Christ; your flesh allows you to become angry.
God wants us to deny our
flesh on a daily basis.
Luke 9:23 states that:
"If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself [deny flesh], and take up his cross daily, and follow Me."
To overcome anger and temper, we must deny our
flesh, which is also refer to as our SELF.
What does it mean to
"deny your flesh"?
To deny your flesh simply means to choose God's way of doing things
instead of your own way of doing things.
As I have previously written on this blog (Refer to
post: Why do you have to trim me?), sometimes God allows us to be in situations
where we are mistreated, and where we may not be liked; this could be God’s way of
helping us to deal with anger and temper (Pruning process).
Ask yourself:
Ask yourself:
a)
Do I get angry?
b)
What
makes me angry?
c)
Is it when I do not get my own way?
d)
Is it my lack of patience?
e)
Is it what I have been exposed to?
f)
Strife?
g)
Betrayal?
Knowing the roots of the
anger may help you to manage your anger effectively.
Test your anger management skills:
·
When someone hits your car, how would you react?
·
When someone keeps you waiting for a long time? How would you manage your
temper?
·
When someone says something that hurts you, how would you deal with it?
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