Monday 21 April 2014

The Influence of My Parents: A True Life Story

Hi readers and followers,

How was your Easter?  We are still in the season of celebration.  I’m having a great Easter celebration, I hope you are too.

I would like to use this opportunity to say thank you for creating time to read my blog and I’m also grateful for your comments, when you comment/when you contact me, I feel more passionate.  We’ve had over 20,000 views, and viewing on each post has also increased immensely. 

Remember, if you would like me to write a post on a particular topic, you want to share your life experience to encourage others, or you need help with something; do not hesitate to contact me via our email:

The below post that you are about to read is a true life story, one of our readers would like to share his story with us, hopefully, we can pick a lesson from it.  

Myss Lafunky’s team have advised Tom in regards to his story.

Note: Tom is pseudonym.

Reminiscing about my life

I look back at my entire life and I wish some things were different and I had my parents around to talk to me.
I grew up in a home where the children never had any happiness.   Basically, it was crisis mode all the time.  I grew up to be resilient.   

I remember my father calling me unprintable names even at a young age.  I remember praying for my father to have an accident and just die.

If you have never lived in these situations it may be hard for you to imagine; I remember going to school with nothing new, not because my parents could not afford it but it was just not done.

I went to a private school; I remember getting school fees for every school term was a thing that I dreaded.  My siblings and I had to listen to curses, lectures and angry recriminations before anything was done for us.

It made me a miserable shy child whilst growing up.  I was constantly ill.

I remember burning one of my dad’s documents; the document was very precious to him.
I wanted to die whilst growing up, my childhood was a mess.

My mum in her distress and sadness, she turned into partying and she drank a bit.

I remember my so called educated father beat up my mother’s once and I refused to attend school the day that my father had beaten my mother.  

I couldn’t stand his behaviour.  I had no role model, no one to look up to.  I was a rebel during my secondary school days.

My father was a Lawyer; you would have thought that he would ensure justice customs were imbedded in our home. Not at all, he was the opposite. 

I trained as a Lawyer too so that I could protect my mum and sisters.

Growing up left deep emotional scars and physical scars on me; at the age of 13, I was already doing drugs and I engaged in drinking.

I was only fortunate because God gave me a good brain, so I excelled with very little efforts.

My elder sister once hung herself and nearly died as everything was too much for her but I arrived at where she was before she hung herself.

We were very miserable, it affected my sister so much, and she eventually dropped out of university.

Whilst I was at university, I embarked on drinking, sleeping with girls, engaging in drugs, I engaged in everything really so as to forget the fact that I was deeply unhappy.  I can only feel sorry for the poor girls that I dated back at uni.

By the time I was at Law School, I had become a Christian.  However, relating with people was always superficial, I found it difficult to trust people, I still struggle to trust people, and I usually find it difficult to allow people to become close to me.  As a matter of fact, it affected my relationship with my ex-girlfriend.

I am getting better now, however, I had been thinking back for a while now the impacts of my upbringing on me.

How can I move forward from my past? Thank you Myss Lafunky for affording me the opportunity to share my story on your blog. 

Thanks for being available for me; I am gradually building my support networks.

Below is the response from Myss Lafunky’s team.

Readers and followers, please feel to ponder on this post and reflect on your background, and if you are a parent, please start thinking of the influence that you are having on your children.  

Are they positives or negatives? 

If you are about to get married, I would suggest that, you should start reading books, articles on parenting children, it is time for our generation to break barriers of any negative influences.

- Myss Lafunky


  1. Myss Lafunky’s team response

    “As long you hand over everything to Jesus in prayers. Lift all that borders you and tell God everything that is on your mind. Lean on Jesus for further directions from Him.

    In order to renew your mind, you have to dedicate a time on a daily basis to study God’s Word (The Bible). If you require help with that, please let me know. The Bible would transform you totally and it would help you to go through refining process.

    From what you wrote, you are now a Born Again Christian, right?

    According to the Book of James 1:2 & 4, what you and your siblings went through are lessons and guide to your future homes. Our Lord Jesus Christ said that, in this world, we will face trials and tribulations including temptations, BUT we all should be of good cheer because He has conquered the world for us.

    It is very sad for the trauma your family had passed through in the past which I know must have given each one of you some emotional trauma and scars. But, our God is a good repairer of both the soul and mind, He will mend whatever that have dented the family in Jesus name.

    Please, ask for the Grace to forgive your father, who appeared to have the architect of the family problem, and whenever you remember the hurt, ask God to take away the hurt.

    I can assure that this story is not common to you alone, other people may have also gone through the same thing.

    Also, tell God that you and your siblings would not repeat any negative things that you may have witnessed whilst growing up. Ask God to give you, your siblings and your mum a mind to forgive about what had happened.

    I know it’s not easy but with GOD, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.
    My prayer is that you will not fall and you will not fail in Jesus.

    Kindly, read and study the Book of Ephesians 5:1-the end including verse 6:1-20. The verses are very loaded for Born Again Christians that wants to build a Christian Home and amend a broken relationship.

    As humans, there will be conflict with Satan and our human nature by not wanting to let go of past mistakes and misdeeds but with prayer and appropriate counsel, all will be well.

    When you have time, I would encourage you to go to your Pastor to pray for you and deliver you from evil words that might have been pronounced into your life and the lives of your siblings. You can also say the Prayer by yourself.

    There is a Hymn which you can use to pray concerning how you want your own home to be and how you want to influence your children.

    Finally, pray for your dad and mum, pray that they will have a personal relationship with Jesus before they leave this earth and pray that the Lord will transform their lives for good.

    In regards to having trust issues, I would encourage you to read a book by John Maxwell ‘Winning with People including the below post.

    1. The Hymn:

      God give us Christian homes!
      Homes where the Bible is loved and taught,
      Homes where the Master?s will is sought,
      Homes crowned with beauty Your love has wrought;
      God give us Christian homes;
      God give us Christian homes!

      God give us Christian homes!
      Homes where the father is true and strong,
      Homes that are free from the blight of wrong,
      Homes that are joyous with love and song;
      God give us Christian homes;
      God give us Christian homes!

      God give us Christian homes!
      Homes where the mother, in caring quest,
      Strives to show others Your way is best,
      Homes where the Lord is an honored guest;
      God give us Christian homes;
      God give us Christian homes!

      God give us Christian homes!
      Homes where the children are led to know
      Christ in His beauty who loves them so,
      Homes where the altar fires burn and glow;
      God give us Christian homes;
      God give us Christian homes!