Tuesday 21 May 2013

Is this right? Sex abstinence

A friend of mine shared the below article with me.

Basically, Jon and Darla Crocker abstained from sex during their 14-month courtship, however they have remained abstinent after marriage and plan to do so indefinitely. 

The couple are Chrisians, they have been married for 2years, they have chosen to abstain from sex within their marriage. They have abstained for two years.

Is it scriptural for married couple to abstain from sex? Or can people abstain from sex within their marriage in order to restitute where they may have erred in the past? 

Jon and Darla have now completed 25 months of marriage without any sexual contact, going about their normal lives, jobs and social calendar with no hint of relational strain. NO HINT OF RELATIONAL STRAIN? Really? 

Jon and Darla also stated that: 
“If it was holy before, it must be double-holy afterwards,” Darla says.

Sometimes after dinner they will kiss in the kitchen and “start having bedroom thoughts,” Darla says, but they never fail to pull back. Darla breaks away to spray cool, misted water on her face. Jon eats a whole raw potato to take himself out of the mood.

They don’t know when they’ll finally break the pledge, and they feel no pressure. After abstaining so long before marriage, “a few extra years is nothing,” says Darla.

“Of course, we don’t lord it over any other couple who decides to have sex after marriage, but for us it’s about staying faithful to the abstinence message and the holiness involved with that,” says Jon who seems unbothered. “For us, true love waits, and waits, and waits.” 

Reference: www.larknews.com/archives/217

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  1. I'm sorry, but do you see the the lack of reason behind their 'reasoning'?
    I just feel some people just try to do new things, just so they can be different. It really makes no sense to me and No, they are not being biblical. If for anything i'd say Jon would take out his sexual frustrations on Darla when she is least ready and my dear it won't be love making, it would be 1st degree rape, married or no!

    1. Exactly! They are not being biblical. I feel like it's lack of ignorant.
      Thanks for your comment.

  2. Apologies to the blogger @ My Diary that commented. I don't know how your comment disappeared.

  3. i actually have a slightly different view. Sorry ladies.
    1. i would not recommend what they are doing. i mean y did dey get married in d first place? i mean there are a lot of men-women pure friendship. 1cor 7:1 says it is good for a man not to get married bt should do, to avoid immoralit. I was not able to work out the main reason from d above blog...depending on the reasons, for self or to glorify God? ....we will leave God to judge
    2. 1cor 7:5. it is fine in this case because they both consented to it. it is not like one person is depriving the other
    3. so I wouldnt say what they are doing is not biblical. It is infact beta. the best time to serve God is in ur Singleness!. Even during fasting married people abstain from sex. This is because Sex satisfies the flesh and the whole point of fasting is to subdue the flesh and strengthen our spirit man.and to live in this world, we cant walk in the flesh.i know am going off but just wanted to say y i dont think what they are doing is not biblical.
    i recommend reading 1cor 7: 1-7

    my main issue here is their motives for doing it. and to put it in a blunt way what is the point!..what is with eating raw potatos lol? i mean how about prayer? that bit got me questioning i must admit.....well maybe God spoke to them, u never know and in that case, God will give then grace to keep to the vow!...i would love to read the main article as this is quite an unusual one!

    1. Thank you for your comment.

      Very unusual indeed!

      There is nothing biblical about it, it was better for them not to have married. The couple did not give a Biblical reference to the reason behind their action.

      What's amazing is that, if two people who love each other are living together and they are not making love, unmarried couples do not have any excuse. The same measure of self-control has been given to us by the Holy Spirit.

      In this case, I can't confidently articulate that the purpose of abstaining from sex was to glorify God or satisfy themselves.

      Thanks for sharing the above scripture.

      Vs 5 of 1 Corinthians 7:1-7 states that: Don’t withhold yourselves from each other unless you agree to do so for a set time to devote yourselves to prayer. Then you should get back together so that Satan doesn’t use your lack of self-control to tempt you.

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