Monday 25 March 2013

The Fragrance You Shouldn’t Smell

All the Scriptures are taken from the King James’ Version of the Holy Bible.

So, I woke up this morning with the longing to have Cornflakes in fresh milk with some specially made hot-dog (which, by the way, is my cooking speciality *wink*). Boy! The thought of this made me smile when I got out of bed.  Have you ever had such an experience before or am I alone on this? Well, unfortunately, this smile was cut short when I remembered that I had chosen this particular day to fast and pray. “Why is it today that I had to wake up with such a longing?” I said to myself.

My longing for Cornflakes applies to THKS (Touching, Hugging, Kissing & Sex).

You may have never engaged in it or thought about it until you find yourself in a relationship where you and your partner have CHOSEN to say “No to THKS.”(Is it just me or this acronym kinda read like “No Thanks”?) You can be rest assured that no matter how godly minded you are (you fit be Pastor sef), the thought of giving THKS a shot will come; “Trying it out once shouldn't be as bad” and “I would just try one of the letters, maybe ‘K’ or ‘H’ ”, are thoughts that may run through our minds at times and trust me, when this thought comes intensely, especially if you’re physically with your partner, it's even much more difficult to dispose of it.

My Princess (Gosh! if you see her, you’ll understand that she’s really a Princess) recently told me what her mum said to her (and that’s where the title of this post came from) and it was You don’t go around the kitchen trying to catch the aroma of the Soup you SHOULDN'T taste.” This applies so much to saying No to THKS.  If you SINCERELY do not want to engage in it, don’t try to catch the fragrance of it. This is even much more difficult for an intending couple where one or both of them had previously engaged in such.

So, let’s cut the chase. In my relationship, my Princess battles with the thought of the “K” while I struggle with thinking about the “T” and this happens mostly when WE ARE TOGETHER ALONE! So we both, TOGETHER, agreed to write out why we did not want to engage in it and we wrote out how to avoid it.

This is what we currently do:
  1. We dedicated our bodies to God afresh, to be used for his pleasure (Rom 12:1).
  2. We study God’s word TOGETHER regularly and remind ourselves of what love is [as written in 1Cor 13:4-8] You know, a man is a product of what he eats, both physically and spiritually.  Ask the guy who eats Burgers and Fries every day and he’ll tell you more (Col 3:16).
  3. We avoid being together in an isolated place. We’re even careful about praying together in an isolated place; thank God for phones and the internet J (1 Cor 8:9).
  4. We avoid engaging in any “X-rated” conversations (SoS 2:7, 1Pet 1:15).
  5. We are not afraid to say “NO” to the other party. By the way, we sometimes get upset with the other party for saying NO in the heat of the moment but we’re fast to get back to our senses.

Finally, there’s ABSOLUTELY NO BENEFIT in THKS before marriage, and its presence in a relationship steers it towards the rocks because God is Love and anything contrary to God is contrary to Love and when the relationship is walking contrary to love, it most definitely will hit the rocks and shatter. 

Discipline + Self Control in a relationship is definitely a sign of a good marriage in the future.


- Olorunfemi 


  1. Thank you so much Olorunfemi for this post. I will be back with my detailed comment.

  2. I woke up this morning, I was craving croissant and Apple creamy croissant with my favourite hot chocolate drink at my work place vending machine. I'd already sorted out my breakfast money. However, my dream for my favourite breakfast this morning was shattered as I had to fast. I certainly know the feeling, re: fasting/feeling like eating one's favourite breakfast.

    The below comment within your post is quite profound.

    "GOD is LOVE and anything CONTRARY TO GOD is CONTRARY TO LOVE and when the relationship is walking contrary to love, it most definitely will hit the rocks and shatter".