Tuesday 11 December 2012

NO THKS in your relationship?

Being pure in a relationship, is it possible to be sexually pure in one's thoughts, physical (touching each other, kissing, sexual intercourse, oral sex, amongst others) in what you do with your boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé, fiancée?                  

Have you tried NO THKS rules?

No Touching,
No Hugging
No Kissing

And when you feel like doing the above, please remember that the pleasure is for a moment. You will feel guilty afterwards. And also remember that there are consequences for our actions.

What the Spirit wants versus what the flesh wants? How do you as a Christian implement what the Spirit wants? Do you sometimes enjoy what the flesh wants more than what the Spirit wants in your relationship?

Try and implement the NO THKS rules, with a bit of self-control. I can assure you that, you are on the way to being pure, for your body to be respected and for you to respect your body.

- Myss Lafunky


  1. This is not easy Oo! But I'm sure with God, all things are possible . . .

  2. Dear Anonymous,
    Thank you for your comment. First comment on my blog ~Yippy, I’m jumping up and down~.
    I can totally empathise with you. I have also found the above rule (THKS) difficult in the past.
    However, my beloved continues to help me to adhere to the rule.
    My advice for you:
    Work in partnership with your girlfriend/boyfriend/fiancé or fiancée; agree on what it is acceptable and what is not acceptable.
    Whenever you feel like doing the above (THKS) with your partner, voice it out and immediately find a way to leave the environment.
    It takes determination and persistence to follow the rule. Also, having an understanding that, THKS can be enjoyed at any-time once you are married and it would no longer be a sin, it becomes lawful within marriage and there are no dangers or consequences of engaging in THKS within the marriage. However, prior to marriage, it is displeasing to God, and unlawful act within the bible and it also shows that one does not respect his or her own body.

    The scripture says in Proverbs 18:21 that, the tongue has the power of life and death. This means that, our words are packed with power for good and for evil. Therefore, I would like you to encourage yourself by confessing: ("Insert Your name" is pure, "Insert Your name" will remain pure, "Your name" will honour my body). Before you know it, you will start living what you confess daily.
    Having the knowledge and understanding of the consequences/dangers of engaging in THKS, in accordance with the bible is paramount. When God instructs us not to engage in something, I can assure you that, there are negative consequences. Being aware of the consequences minimise us engaging in THKS. Some of the consequences are:
    Being ashamed to talk about it to anyone
    Feeling guilty to pray to God
    Disjointed relationship with God
    Disunion from God
    Separation from God
    Rebellion against God’s Word
    Not having a good testimony to share with one's children in the future or others.
    Addiction to THKS
    Too late to change the past
    Continuously lack self-control
    Not being able to be a role model.
    “Marriage should be honoured by everyone, and husband and wife should keep their marriage pure. God will judge as guilty those who take part in sexual sins” (Heb. 13:4/consequences). God said, He will judge us if we engage in fornication.
    Finally, God wants us to accept the WHOLE TRUTH. He wants us to obey His commands completely. In terms of sexual sins, He does not want us to say, “as long I am not engaging in sexual intercourse, I am not fornicating. It’s okay for me to kiss, touch, engage in oral sex, masturbate, as long it is not sexual intercourse. Nevertheless, God recently said to me that, any sexual gratification outside the context of marriage is a SIN, as it is the lust of the flesh.
    While many of the consequences that come with it cannot be removed, the sin can be forgiven by submission to God and true repentance. Without such, one stands eternally lost (The individual will not make heaven (Galatians 5:19-21 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-11).

  3. All we need is a willing heart and God's grace.

  4. A need a few clarifications. When you say 'No touching', what do you mean by that? Do you mean no physical contact whatsoever? Or that physical contact should be kept to the barest minimum? Or you mean 'explicit' physical contact?

    Also, u mentioned 'No Kissing'. I am sooo certain that the Bible doesn't say anything about kissing being a sin or not. And I understand why we as Christians wouldn't want to add that to our relationships; as the Nigerian parlance goes 'Na from clap them take they enter dance'. However an infant Christian may not. They may need answers t the 'Why'. Hence you may want to add that detail to you post.

    I appreciate the fact that you want to keep you post as simple as possible to keep the attention of readers, however, I beg that important details should not be sacrificed at the expense of brevity.

    1. Dear Anonymous,

      Thank you for seeking clarity. You are right; I did not want my post to be too lengthy, hence, the brevity. My readers are welcome to seek clarity.

      While I suggested the above rules, I previously struggled with the ‘K’ despite being a believer. I realised that, why it is clearly not stated in the bible that it is a sin, what tends to happen after the ‘K’ does not/will not please God, unless we want to fool ourselves.

      Kissing takes our mind away from God, and it increases one’s sexual tension for one’s partner.

      Kissing is also difficult to STOP when one engages in it, and your imagination is very likely to wander and you may want to take it to the next stage (Physical touching, caressing, fingering, sex, oral sex, amongst others).

      I do believe that kissing per se, is not a sin, but, it can lead to sin. Remember, the Bible says in Matthew 5: 28 that, “But I tell you that if anyone looks at a woman and wants to sin sexually with her, in his mind he has already done that sin with the woman”. It is therefore impossible to kiss and at the same time, refrain one’s imagination running wild. Why not take a stand for total purity and not engage in the 'K'. I have taken a stand for total purity.

      Further reading:
      1 Corinthians 7: Study the whole chapter. Try and read New Century Version or Good News Translation
      Matthew 5: 27 and 28: Verse 28 has been quoted above.

      Philippians 4:8-“Brothers and sisters, think about the things that are good and worthy of praise. Think about the things that are true and honourable and right and pure and beautiful and respected” (NCV version).

      Titus 1:15: “To those who are pure, all things are pure, but to those who are full of sin and do not believe, nothing is pure. Both their minds and their consciences have been ruined”. (NCV version).

      Songs of Solomon 2:7b: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

      In terms of the ‘No Touching’, I mean, the explicit physical touching, i.e. touching your girlfriend’s breasts, touching your girlfriend’s private parts, touching your boyfriend’s Penis, caressing, fingering, amongst others.

      Basically, physical touch that you cannot do in front of others.

      It takes discipline and self-control, in staying PURE.

      I realised that, some of us are fully against pre-marital sex, however when it comes to accepting the whole truth in respects of dedicating our WHOLE body parts to God, we lack understanding.

      God does not want us to defile our body and our whole body parts. He wants us to be pure and undefiled. Our body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19).

      It is a sacrifice unto God when it comes to staying Pure and accepting the NO THKS rule.

      I pray the Lord Jesus will help believers that are courting to be committed to the NO THKS rule, without missing out any of the letters.

      I also pray that, the Holy Spirit will teach believers that are courting how to love each other without the implementation of the THKS.

  5. No hugging though? i dont mean long hugs...just seconds...that is a sin too?

    1. Hi Nikki,

      Hugging is not a sin, but it is what happens after the 'long hug' that maybe a sin. It's about knowing oneself and being mindful of what may happen/one's imagination during the hugging.
      The 'No Hugging' is actually not the 'normal hugging' but hugging that lasts more than 30 seconds and hugging that leads to excessive cuddling.

      The No THKS is a preventative rule towards sexual purity for Christian boyfriend/girlfriend, some individuals who are not Christians (but because of their morals/strong beliefs) also adheres with the THKS rule.