10 Questions to Help You Reflect | Your 2015 Year In Review

Hi Readers & Followers,

It's the Yuletide season! Are things feeling festive around you?  This season is when most people feel festive and also get a break from their day-to-day routine. It's also a time to reflect and look back on everything you have discovered, experienced, learned within the last 12 months. As you reflect, be optimistic about the good things that have occurred and be honest with yourself about the things that you need to improve and develop.

Some questions to aid your reflection:

1) What new things did you discover about yourself in Year 2015?

2) What achievements are you proud of this year?

3) If you had to describe your 2015, how would you describe it?

4) Which new skills did you learn?

5) What was the best news that you received this Year 2015?

6) Which of your personal qualities turned out to be the most helpful this year?

7) Which of your personal qualities do you need to improve for Year 2016?

8) Did you preach the gospel this Year 2015?

9) Did you show any act of kindness this year?

10) What or who are you most thankful for?

Happy Reflection!

- Myss Lafunky

What's the Thought of Your Heart?

Happy Monday Readers and Followers! It's countdown to Christmas and Year 2016. I'm excited. I pray that all will go well with you during this Christmas period and in the Year 2016. A big thank you to those that celebrated the 3rd year anniversary of Myss Lafunky's blogspot. 

This week's post stemmed from my personal experience and lessons from the Holy Spirit.

Thoughts of the Heart

For as we think in our heart, so are we . . . (Proverbs 23:7). 

A couple of months ago, one of my girlfriends was pregnant and I'd asked about the welfare of the unborn baby via a message but her immediate response to me was 'LOL'. While 'LOL' means 'Laughing Out Loud', its use has been abused. The acronym is now used when people are clueless about what to say, some people use the term when they do not want to respond to questions being asked. 

I was hurt by the way she had answered my genuine question, I made a decision to  stop asking about the pregnancy/the welfare of the unborn baby, which led to minimal communication between us.

When my girlfriend gave birth, she informed me and I congratulated her. About 6 to 8 months after the 'LOL' incident, my girlfriend contacted me, she asked me a personal question and my immediate response was 'LOL' to which she replied: "I guess you want to keep your business secret". I responded by saying: "After all, when I had asked you how your pregnancy was going, your response was LOL, you declined sharing anything. Thus, you should not have any issues with my response." 

My girlfriend humbled herself and apologised; I felt the sincerity of her apologies. I nearly denied being offended, nevertheless, the Holy Spirit told me that He was revealing the state of my heart to me, as I did not have a clean and pure heart towards my girlfriend. The Holy Spirit corrected me and used my girlfriend to reveal the state of my heart. I expressed my gratitude to her and I explained how God had subtly used her to prune me.

What's the state of your heart towards the people around you? Do you know that your thought reveals what is in your heart? God said that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks (Matthew 12:35).  God also said that a good person brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart and an evil person brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of (Luke 6:45). 

Our thoughts determine our behaviour and attitudes, and reveal who we really are. Who are you?  Do you have the right attitudes toward your friends, family, your work colleagues, and church family? 
God wants you to think on things that are good, noble and positive. Ask God to empower your mind to think on positive thoughts..

It is my prayer that God will help us to love people unconditionally.  Lord Jesus, teach us to be tolerant of others, let us always remember that we are human beings, thus, we are prone to fall in our words and actions. Lord Jesus, help us to make room in our hearts for offences.

Prayer
Dear Jesus, I present myself to you. Please, send your Holy Spirit to renew my mind, give me a clean heart, and transform my thoughts that I may grow and love (Amen).

- Myss Lafunky

Photo Credit: https://divinewalls.com

Celebrating 3 Years of Blogging

How Do You React to Unusual Situations as a Christian?

When something unusual happens, something beyond our human comprehension, something you and I can't explain with our own understanding, do you know that it's very easy for us to vilify the individual that is going through the unusual situation?  

No wonder Joseph wanted to put Mary away secretly because of the unusual thing (miracle) that had occurred. Imagine Mary became pregnant without having sex.  As a matter of fact, Joseph was so concerned about the unusual situation that he wanted to divorce Mary quickly and quietly.  The book of Matthew 1:18-20 states:

18.Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed[b] to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. 19 And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. 20 But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit (English Standard Version)

How do you react to unexpected situations in your life? Does the Word of God play a major role? 

In the place of unusual circumstances, God expects you to:

- Seek Him for wisdom to understand the situation (James 1:5).

- God expects you to control your tongue, and for you to act with gentle and godly wisdom. 

- God expects you to be swift to hear from Him, slow to speak to others and slow to getting angry (James 1:19).

- God expects you to call upon Him and ask for help (Jeremiah 33:3).

- While you may sorrow, God expects you to consciously respond with joy and believe He will see you through (James 1:2-4).

- God expects you to persevere under testing, and for you not to blame Him for it (James 1:12-18).

- God expects you to take necessary actions in line with the direction He tells you.

- God expects you to practice humility by depending on Him through prayers (James 5:13-18).

- God expects you to be careful of the counsel that you receive.

- God expects you to trust in Him and not in humans. Although He raises humans to help and guide us (Jeremiah 17:5-9).

How do you react to other people's unusual situations? Are you quick to vilify them?

What should be your role?

If God has not specifically told you why the individual is going through an unusual situation, do not use your earthly wisdom to comprehend it.  Your role should include: 

- Praying for the person. Ask God to give them the wisdom to deal with the situation.

- Ring them, send a text message and tell them that you are praying for them and ensure you pray for them.  

- Do not pass negative information around, do not ask the individual inappropriate questions in line with your own understanding. Be led by the Holy Spirit in the place of asking questions. 

- Maintain their confidentiality except their life is at risk.

#Christmas season# #ShowtheloveofGod# #EmbraceHislove#

- Myss Lafunky

Saved From Deception

Happy New Week Readers & Followers,

Myss Lafunky is continuing with the series on Christian platonic relationships, Christian courtship, sexual purity, setting the right boundaries in relationships, etc.  If you would like your story to be featured on the blog, please send your story to trulymakingadifference@gmail.com. Today's post is a story on being patient about making decisions about whom to be in a relationship with. Be blessed as you read.

I went for a job training a while back and met a certain guy who was very kind. At a point when I was ill, he was very caring buying me fruits and all. 

After I recovered from my illness, he started wooing me - calling me sweet names, sending text messages, calling like 10 times a day. I wondered why he was bombarding me since we see everyday at work. Also, I wasn't convinced that he was a good Christian, and since I just broke up from a relationship, I was very careful about going into another one without a direction from God. I also suspected that he was seeing another girl at work which he denied vehemently. I continued to avoid him and he continued to press for a relationship. There was a time he was almost crying. I told some of my colleagues at work who also confirmed that he was dating another girl at work, but he denied it. His friends (the guys who were also my colleagues) also started telling me that I was making their friend unhappy by not agreeing to a relationship. So, to cut to the chase, I stopped picking his calls, stopped replying his texts and I avoided him at work.

As it would happen, we had a social gathering at work which included an award ceremony. Guess what? The guy and the girl I suspected he was dating (whom he kept denying he was dating) got the award for the best couple at work. They danced so dirty that day, with him caressing her body so intimately.

I'm glad I wasn't deceived, but that was the height of wickedness and callousness anyone can show. Well, he continued to tell me he loved me, even after the award ceremony but I gave him the biggest warning of all time to never contact me again.

As the scripture says in Pro 3:6, trust the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own understanding in making a sound decision. If you acknowledge Him, He'll surely direct your steps.

Photo Credit: http://henryjameskelly.tumblr.com/

Abstaining From SeX - A Man's Journey to Sexual Purity

Thanks to those that have sent their stories in for publication; you will receive your £10 Amazon E-voucher via your email. Please, click here for more information about the competition.

The below story was triggered by a campaign that was launched through Stella Eyunruntella Ashe, with the tag  "#I can wait" on Facebook. Stella has challenged the status quo by encouraging singles to stay chaste until marriage. You can find Stella's campaign on Facebook by searching for #I can wait.

I would like to thank the writer of today's post for allowing Myss Lafunky's blogspot to publish his story.

Abstaining From SeX
Abstaining from sex as a man in today's world is not a simple feat. From the moment you wake up, you're overwhelmed with nakedness from your TV to your church and from the bus stop to your office; I know how many half-naked women I encountered on Monday alone.

My own path wasn't made any easier since I was one of those who explored their sexuality early. At the time I didn't know Christ and I obviously enjoyed the thrill of it. Sex is fantastic and unless you're experiencing some issues of heart or mind, you're going to want to keep at it.

Which is why when I wasn't doing it at a point (no available babe that I liked) or not making out, I resorted to pornography to fill the void. I would surf the net for it, masturbate and start all over again. At a point, I was doing it up to four times a day! I was heavily addicted to it. Reality wasn't any better; I couldn't even go two steps without seeing a woman I wanted in bed.

I would go off feeling guilty and dirty, but I didn't stop. I would pray to God to take it away, not realizing that prayers without action meant nothing. So I started to work, I set up Kaspersky Antivirus and used it's featured parental function to block off porn sites. I used a random password I never memorized so I'd never be able to undo it.

I deleted my email and online Porn accounts. I spent more time away from females than I'd ever done. In fact, at a point, when a lady said hi, I'd think; "What? What is it? What do you want, now? Na wetin? Who are you and where are you from? Abeg go! I no want!"

I was often very harsh with ladies then and they never understood why and it was wisdom to NOT tell them why. It would have been courting trouble with the ones who would not mind that kind of adventure and then it would also be fodder for the ones among them who were certified gossips.

I wasn't blaming them really, but I just wanted to avoid such troubles. I knew sex was by choice and so were the other things I was doing so, I had to make choices to stop. There's a special group of Pharisees, according to history, called the "bloody Pharisees". They were so known because they claimed to avoid sin and lust by looking down at the ground as they walked. The result of which was that they fell into gutters, walked into walls, poles and people. They were walking accidents! I became one and while they became proud of themselves and used their injuries to boast of being righteous, I just wanted to do the right thing. I modified it to walking fast and always looking forward so I never see anything "odd", and if I did, I quickly crossed the road! In fact, at some point in my life, friends and family began to refer to me as the man who walks with his face in front of him, never looking right or left. Till this day, I'll sometimes slip into it subconsciously.

It's been a long hard road. Some days, all I've done is just switch off my phone and laptop and read my Bible or sleep. Other days I had to drink bottle after bottle of cold water as if I was a mermaid who was cast out of the sea! "All na format to hold body!"

Then after all the prayer and fasting, I come online and some special ladies have ventured into my inbox.

This one sends naked pictures, Block!

This one says she can take care of me and tells me how. I tell her Jesus is taking very good care of me. She no gree commot, Block!

The other one propositions me. Block!

Those ones want to come to my house because they heard pastors "do it" well. Block! Block!! Block!!!

*Spoils keypad and mouse while navigating and pressing block*

It’s not always hard, but some days, especially when you're in that "place" where you're thinking of being with someone special one day, the desire and pull can get very intense and one needs to be very cautious. I'm choosing to wait because I want to give all of me rightly this time and I want it to be with my wife. My own woman whose love and passion I can enjoy and have no regrets over.

Besides, I can't tell men about godliness and faith, if I am not interested in it. I can't tell men to not be promiscuous and play around, while spilling my precious seed in bed or with random women.

I can't lay claim to love God and wilfully have sex any time I want, without a care. This isn't about STDs or pregnancy, this is about being the man I know I'm called to be and being accountable.

The world has taught me that as a man I can sleep around and not care. It has taught me sex with multiple women, even when married, is my right. Jesus told me different. Jesus told me he made me and he wants me to save all my love and passion for one special woman he wants me to love, provide for and protect all my days. I choose to listen to Jesus. The world be damned.

I didn't wait, but I am waiting now…

-  Author (Anonymous)

If you have been affected by this story, please send an email to trulymakingadifference@gmail.com

Photocredit: woetome.wordpress.com & www.naij.com

The Case of a Pregnant Virgin

Hello Readers, 

I would like to encourage those who are primary and secondary virgin to continue to stay pure. Do not give up. I can assure you that there are thousands of men and women out there that have chosen to stay sexually pure. While you are ensuring that you do not have sexual intercourse, do not forget to stay sexually pure by practising the No THKS (Touching, Hugging, Kissing and Sex). Virginity is useless without sexual purity, they are both important.

Read the true life story below:

The case of the pregnant virgin

A young nursing student came to my clinic with a complaint of delayed menstruation.  From her menstrual history, it was established that she had been regularly having her period every month until this month when she was already delayed by two weeks.  Being a standard-operating-procedure (SOP), I asked about intimate sexual relations which she, and her boyfriend who came along with her, vehemently denied.  I explained to her that for us obstetricians, pregnancy or a consequence thereof is the first consideration in any delay in menstruation.

What can cause absence of menstruation?

For the record, there are conditions that can cause delayed menses or an absence of menses from someone previously having it.   Some of these conditions are:
• Pregnancy or a complication thereof (i.e. abortion, ectopic pregnancy)
• PCOS or polycystic ovarian syndrome
• Intake of certain drugs like non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) such as  mefenamic acid,  hormones, chemotherapeutic agents (anti-cancer)
• Stress, whether emotional or physical (as in athletes)
• Depression
• Premature ovarian failure (aka premature menopause)

Was she pregnant?

Even with their denial, I had to do a pregnancy test, which turned out to be positive or (+), meaning she was pregnant.  With this result in hand, I proceeded to do a physical examination to verify the pregnancy.  She refused a speculum and internal examination (IE) as she still maintained she was a virgin.  To my surprise, her hymen indeed was intact.  As promised, I didn’t do an IE but requested for a transabdominal (through the abdomen) pelvic ultrasound instead.  To their surprise, the ultrasound result showed a live pregnancy of about six weeks duration.  She indeed was pregnant.

How did I determine whether she was a virgin?

The all too important hymen takes center stage here.  The hymen is a thin tissue right at the opening of the vagina.  It is not totally closed but has a small central opening where menstrual blood can flow out of.  The opening is about 1 to 1.2 cm.  Being so, one can use a tampon for menstruation and not cause any damage to the hymen.  The large size tampon is only about 1 cm in diameter.  Therefore, mothers need not worry about their daughters losing their virginity with the use of tampons.

So, what does it mean to lose virginity?  Simply put it means there was already intimate sexual relation which connotes actual penetration of the man’s sexual organ into the female’s vaginal canal. The penis is 2cm or more in diameter. On first sexual contact, the penetration of the penis causes this membrane to be broken as the penis is larger than the hymenal opening.  The hymen then breaks causing some amount of bleeding. 

Therefore, on physical examination, we determine whether the hymenal ring is still intact (virgin) or the hymen has already been broken (non-virgin). Sometimes, it can also be determined whether the penetration occurred recently (fresh tears) or some time before (healed tears).  There are some exceptions to the rule.  In some women, this membrane may not break because it has been shown that there are those who have resilient hymen.  In addition, there are those who have done some sexual acts without resorting to actual penetration.  So, frankly speaking, they are not actually “virgins” in the real sense but only physical virgins, i.e. intact hymen.

The mystery solved

Needless to say, the couple had a very intense argument with the boyfriend accusing the girl of infidelity.  He was very sure he has not penetrated the girl’s vaginal canal.  She adamantly insisted she had no other man in her life. I had to show the man that indeed the girlfriend’s hymen was intact.  I had to solve the mystery myself so I sat them down together to get a clearer view of the circumstances.  Being nursing students, I had hoped they were able to understand the situation as I am now going to narrate.

The couple in this story had been doing heavy petting, or in other words, sexual foreplay.  Not wanting to have a resulting pregnancy, the man sees to it that he does not penetrate.  However, there are times when he ejaculates right at the hymenal opening.  During ejaculation, the semen comes out in bursts with some degree of force.  It could have happened that some semen, with the concomitant sperms, were able to enter the vaginal canal.  The sperms then could now travel upward through the fallopian tube and meet the ovum or egg resulting in a fertilized egg, thereby resulting in pregnancy.

If you find that hard to believe, imagine the man in this story.  I had hoped he would understand but I later found out he could not fathom the explanation which eventually led to the break up.

How about the woman?  The last I heard from her, she called me up to speak to her mother and to assure the mother she was a virgin. I refused. I told her you may be a virgin in the physical sense but we both know you have had an intimate relation with a man. She never came back.

Reference - http://www.herword.com/healthdesk/main.php?id=pregnant+virgin

If you have been affected by the above, please send an email to trulymakingadifference@gmail.com. If you would like to share your story, also send an email to the above email address.

- Myss Lafunky