(During courtship) Is kissing and Romance a sin? (Check out the Give-aways)

Hi Readers and followers,

Questions

Is kissing sinful in Christian Courtship?
Is romance a sin during Christian Courtship?

Answer

I believe kissing and romance during courtship is a sin.

Kissing takes our mind away from God, and it increases one’s sexual tension for one’s partner.

Kissing is also difficult to STOP when one engages in it and your imagination is very likely to wander and you may want to take it to the next stage (Physical touching, caressing, fingering, sex, oral sex, amongst others).

Remember, the Bible says in Matthew 5: 28 that, “But I tell you that if anyone looks at a woman and wants to sin sexually with her, in his mind he has already done that sin with the woman”. It is therefore impossible to kiss and at the same time, refrain one’s imagination from running wild.

Why not take a stand for total purity and not engage in kissing. Let’s be on this journey together, regardless if you are in a short or long-distance relationship.

It is possible to stay pure; it is all in the mind and having self-control.  Also, regularly read relevant scriptures and articles about staying pure in courtship would help.

If we want to pursue godliness, it is simply the wrong question to ask. The questions we should ask ourselves are:

1. Would we confidently describe kissing our fiancé/fiancée/boyfriend/girlfriend as holy and honourable to God?
2. Was the kissing done to satisfy lust or was it to honour God with our bodies?
3. Does it reflect purity?
4. Do you feel kissing and romancing is a holy act?
5. What do you think God will do if He was in your shoe?
6. Whatever you did if it is kissing or romance, was there a hint of sexual immorality? Ephesians 5:3-5.

From the questions that I usually receive and the discussions that I have engaged in, a lot of people who justify pre-marital sexual involvement (including kissing, touching, etc) are those who are currently engaging in it. However, people do want to stop it, but because they had started it already, it becomes difficult to stop. 

The no THKS (No inappropriate Touching, no inappropriate Hugging, no inappropriate Kissing and no Sex) is a useful tool to utilise in a Christian courtship. 

While the Bible did not explicitly state that kissing is a sin, however, what tends to happen after the ‘K’ does not and will not please God unless we want to fool ourselves.

I believe the way love has been portrayed in society and in the media have influenced how some Christians view love during their courtship.

In our relationship, we must be pure throughout; we must DARE to be DIFFERENT. 

If you haven’t started the THKS, I would encourage you not to go near it (Do not awaken love until it is so desired).  And if you have started it and you are looking for ways to stop, please keep reading this post for suggestions on how to stop.

It is to be noted that no Christians that engaged in THKS before their marriage would look back and defend that it was a good choice that they made, and neither would they encourage you to engage in it.

Notes

·        If you have engaged in any of the THKS, it is still possible to stop it.

·        Start renewing your mind with the Word of God. The Word of God would influence and change you.

·        Ask God to embrace you again. God is a God of a second chance. He is ready to forgive and cleanse us, once we ask for His mercy.

·        Start building friends and mentors that will guide you in the right way.

·        If you are in a relationship and you can’t stop engaging in the THKS, I will advise you and your partner to SPEAK out, SEEK SUPPORT, and if you still can’t stop, to honour God, the solution is to end the relationship.  

·        God said that whoever covers his or her sin will not prosper Proverbs 28:13.  Please, stop hiding it; speak out so that you can be FREE from it.

·      

Final words:

1.    You are in charge of your body.

2.    You must make every effort to stay pure.

3.    You must practice self-control.

4.    You and your partner must have convictions not to engage in it. If it is only one person that has the conviction, you are likely to fall, until both of you agree. (God said can two walk together except they agree?  Amos 3:3).

5.    Think about your future testimony with your children. What would you tell them? Are you going to tell them that God transformed you along the way when you fell into sin or are you going to tell them that you continued to engage in what you felt was wrong?

6.    Start reading books, articles, having discussions about showing love in a Christian courtship.

You have the opportunity to get it right before it is too late.

You can look back from today and say ‘when I knew the right way of courting, I courted my boyfriend the way that was pleasing to God'.

Remember, true love in line with 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 waits.

True love will not want you to disobey God.

A man or a lady that insists on kissing and touching is more in love with his or her body than implementing self-control to stay off sexual immorality.

The right way of courtship brings peace, joy and no worries.  It also makes one have a good testimony. The wrong way brings shame, guilt, lack of trust, punishments from God, etc.

Remember Joseph feared God, he ran away from sexual things from Potiphar's wife.
Also remember that despite that God loved David, when he committed sexual sin, God punished him. 

I will end this write-up with Twale’s comment: “After marriage, I'm sure many people would be tired of kissing, right? Therefore, please chillax".  

In other words, there will be many opportunities within marriage to express your love to your spouse. You won’t be guilty neither would you be committing sin.

Action Point

Pastor Adeboye said that ‘the weakness you can conquer today will most likely be conquered by your generations. Start a good chain of living right today.

Abraham lied little, Isaac lied more, Jacob was worse with his lie.  Can you see how the sin affected their generations because Abraham started the lie and he didn't fully repent and terminate it?

Prayer

Lord Jesus, please help me to overcome every weakness in my life in Jesus name. 

Help me to have victory over every weakness in my life. I will not pass seeds of weaknesses to my children and the generations to come in Jesus name.

-Myss Lafunky

20 Marriage Tips Everyone Needs to Know (Reblog)

Hi readers & followers,

The author of the below post stated that if the reader found wisdom in the post, we should share it with others. I knew my readers would find it very informative.  Here it goes:

Below are 20 wise marriage tips from a man that was recently divorced. You wouldn’t normally think that a divorced man would give good advice on being a husband, but this man has been through enough hardship to know what is worth fighting for:

MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD:

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had…

1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9) BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11) BE PRESENT. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14) GIVE HER SPACE… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15) BE VULNERABLE… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.

Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.

But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

The woman that told him ‘I do’, and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.

If you are reading this and your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE : Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.

Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.

-Gerald Rogers.

The above tips can be applied by women/wife as well.

Shh..How often do you check your online banking/bank account for the balance?

The way most of us lives is somewhat predictable; we regularly monitor our bank accounts to check for direct debit payments, bills payment, etc.

My question for you today is: how often do you monitor how you are growing in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ?  2 Peter 3:18. How often do you examine your relationship with God and with other people?

God said that we should examine ourselves whether we are still in faith (2 Corinthians 13:5).

Examining yourself . . .  (It is to be noted below information are not the criteria of being saved but rather they are to help us to check whether we are still saved and also, the list is not exhaustive).

1)      Examine yourself with the seven things that God cannot tolerate which are: Proverbs 6:16-19

2)      Ask yourself ‘Am I a true Christian’?

3)      Am I reading my bible regularly?

4)      Am I communicating with God regularly?

5)      Am I practising what I believe? (Practising the Word of God is what makes you a Christian).

6)      How am I building my character? Can God boast of my character? Can my spouse/friends/parents boast of my good character?

7)      Do I listen to the voice of God? (Does God speak to me? Do I recognise God’s voice?).

8)      Do I display the fruit of the Spirit? (Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-control).

9)      Have I increasingly grown in maturity and not affected by wrong doctrines?

Prayer:

Lord Jesus, help me to honestly examine myself on a daily basis.

I trust you Lord Jesus to help me to identify what I am doing right and I know that you will also help me to highlight the things that I am doing that are displeasing to you.

Photo credit: http://www.lloydsbank.com/assets/media/png/screenshots/statement%20reverse.png

- Myss Lafunky

Tithe payment Versus the needs of your family

Hi readers and followers,

I just read a post on a blog. The writer suggested that, the needs of one's family members come first before paying tithes.  The writer stated that, when she obtained her first salary, she was in a difficult position of whether to pay her tithe or meet the needs of her family, and by the time she calculated how much she would have remaining after the tithe has been paid, she wouldn't be able to survive.

The writer had a discussion with her Atheist room mate, who was aghast with the thought of starving her family all because she wanted to fulfil a religious law. After her discussions with her room mate, the writer did not pay her tithe, she helped her family.

What is your view?

Do you pay tithe?

Are there months that we should not pay tithe if we need to help the widows, orphans, our families etc?

Are there implications/consequences of not paying our tithes?


- Myss Lafunky

Myss Lafunky will offer her view in due course.

My rant for this week..What He cannot tolerate...

Hi readers and followers,

I'm sorry for not putting up any posts in the last two weeks. I've been extremely busy but I'm back now. Yay! I need to discipline myself to share a post every Monday as promised.

What have you been up to? I've had an interesting week, I witnessed an amazing proposal. My friend’s boyfriend proposed. He put a lot of efforts into the proposal. I had no idea that he could be really romantic. My favourite thing about the proposal was the fact that he involved all of us (his friends and my girlfriend’s friends). Congratulations to my girlfriend on your engagement, I'm happy for you. I can’t wait for the bridal shower and the wedding day. May the Lord continue to guide both of you.

Back to the post . . .

Are you aware of what God does not like and what God cannot tolerate? Are there things that you cannot tolerate and when someone engages in what you dislike, do you cringe? How do you react when someone that you really care about engages in what you dislike despite the individual being aware that you dislike it?

As part of my daily bible reading, I stumbled on a scripture, which I said I must share with my readers and followers.

Proverbs 6: 16-19 states that:

There are seven things that the Lord hates and cannot tolerate:

1. A proud look
2. A lying tongue
3. Hands that kill innocent people,
4. A mind that thinks up wicked plans,
5. Feet that hurry off to do evil,
6. A witness who tells one lie after another,
7. And someone who stirs up trouble among friends.

      Thou shall not engage in the things that God hates and the things that He cannot tolerate. How do you think God will react if we engaged in the above?

You are now aware of the seven things that God Almighty does not like and cannot tolerate.  

Please, ensure you do all it takes for you to avoid those seven things.

Examine yourself if you are engaging in those seven things. God said that we should examine ourselves whether we are still in faith (2 Corinthians 13:5).

Photo credit: http://www.ministryofthewatchman.com/lovehate.gif

- Myss Lafunky

Know the Word!

1 Peter 5:8 - "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour."

The New Living Translation puts it a lucid way

"Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8).

I was studying the book of Matthew 4:1-11 this morning and the Lord led me to ponder on verse 6 where Satan quoted the Bible.

Satan Tempts Jesus

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry. Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, “If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.”

But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’ Then the devil took Him up into the holy city, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down. For it is written: ‘He shall give His angels charge over you,’and,‘In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.’ Jesus said to him, “It is written again, ‘You shall not tempt the Lord your God.’ Again, the devil took Him up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said to Him, “All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.” Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.’

When Satan tempted Jesus, He justified his request with a scripture

God wants you to know that just because an individual is quoting a bible scripture does not mean they are of God. Furthermore, Satan allows people to quote biblical scriptures; however the scriptures are usually misquoted and misinterpreted to justify sins and to glorify themselves.

God said even the very elect will be deceived (Matthew 24:24).

Be on the look out, don't fall for Satan's trap. He can use anybody to tempt you including your mind.  Take control, study your bible everyday, create time to listen to God, in order words, let the Spirit of God direct your life, and you will never satisfy the desires of the human nature (Galatians 5:16). 

Notes

• Prayerfully ask God to help you to stay spiritually alert.
• Also, desire the discernment of the Spirit. The Spirit to distinguish the truth from falsehood.
• Finally, create time to study the Word of God. God cannot be separated from His Word. John 1:1 states that “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” When you read the Word of God regularly, the Word of God will guide you appropriately.

- Myss Lafunky

The TRUTH about "You can't judge me" (Reblog) by Heather Lindsey

Hi readers and followers,

Below post is amazing.  The writer is very eloquent in her writing.  Heather literally wrote what I had in my thought.

Kindly check out her blog: http://heatherllindsey.blogspot.co.uk


Whenever I talk about homosexuality being a sin, politics, sex outside of marriage and secular music-- people get fired up! I mean, they get plain MAD at me! HOW DARE YOU HEATHER! How DARE you JUDGE them. If I post that God wants your heart-- you say AMEN! But if I challenge your music, you say- "don't judge me. Sadly, we are a church that is constantly being divided against itself (Amos 3:3) and we cannot stand because we rationalize certain areas of our life that we aren't quite ready to let go of. To be totally honest with you, I didn't judge you. 

The bible judged you & it judged you as wrong.  It is God alone that placed those standards in the bible and as humans, we aren't to argue them, but to obey them. The bible is so clear on certain areas of our life but then we refuse to read it and let our feelings lead our life. We compare & contrast sin & say.. "I can't judge you because I got sin in my own life." 

Your sin cannot blot out another person's sin-- so instead of rationalizing and comparing sins, let's pursue holiness. Let's pursue righteousness! I'm not saying that I'm perfect or that you'll never sin. The difference is this: When you are not saved, you pursue SIN. When you are saved, you pursue Christ.For example, a practising homosexual cannot be saved because they pursue and continue IN their sin-- even if they have conviction about it. A practising fornicator isn't saved because they stay in the bed and continue to have sex and ignore the truth. (read 1 John). How can we say that we love Jesus if we continue to run after things that He's made so clear to us to stay away from in our lives?

John 3:19 And the judgement is based on this fact: God's light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil.

 I don't listen to secular music, not because I think I'm better than anyone-- I just understand that MUSIC plants seeds in your heart. . Search the heart behind the person that is singing the song. Does their heart belong to the Father? As you read these words, they plant seeds in your heart. When a pastor that preaches the word correctly, preaches-- it plants seeds in your heart.. so when a rapper raps into your ear it doesn't? I can assure you that there's some things going on in your life as a direct result of what you've been watching and listening to on a regular basis. 

Don't you know that Satan was over music in heaven before he got kicked out? But of course he's going for you here on this earth! And the words can even appear to be "safe" but that paired with who is singing it-- it's planting the wrong seeds in your heart. 

 For example, If you're trying to get over an ex-- you can't sit and listen to Adele all day. You think she's helping you to get over them but you're actually becoming more focused on the situation versus allowing God to heal your broken heart. The more you listen to those songs, the deeper the bitterness grows into your heart and all the while Christ is pulling on you! He's saying, "Focus on this one thing:Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead (Philippines 3:13)!!" 

Most of that music focuses in on YOU. Music's purpose is to glorify GOD and not self. So, if you're struggling with listening to different rappers or R & B music, ask God to help you. Instead of getting mad at me for telling you that the bible tells us to guard our hearts, ask God to show you why it makes you so upset! 

Lets get back to this judging thing. I think it's so important to talk about one of the most uninterrupted scriptures in the bible.

This is an issue that has confused many people. On one hand, we are commanded by the Lord Jesus, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged” (Matthew 7:1) Christians are often accused of "judging" whenever they speak out against a sinful activity. However, that is not the meaning of the Scripture verses that state, "Do not judge." There is a righteous kind of judgement we are supposed to exercise—with careful discernment (John 7:24). When Jesus told us not to judge (Matthew 7:1), He was telling us not to judge hypocritically. Meaning this, I am telling YOU not to do something but secretly, I am doing it. 

 Matthew 7:2-5 declares, "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." What Jesus was condemning here was hypocritical, self-righteous judgements of others.

In Matthew 7:2-5, Jesus warns against judging someone else for his sin when you yourself are sinning even worse. That is the kind of judging Jesus commanded us not to do. If a believer sees another believer sinning, it is his Christian DUTY to lovingly and respectfully confront the person with his sin (Matthew 18:15-17). This is not judging, but rather pointing out the truth in hope—and with the ultimate goal—of bringing repentance in the other person (James 5:20) and restoration to the fellowship. 

We are to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). We are to proclaim what God's Word says about sin. 2 Timothy 4:2 tells us, "Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage — with great patience and careful instruction." We are to "judge" sin, but always with the goal of presenting the solution for sin and its consequences—the Lord Jesus Christ (John 14:6).

Do you see the difference? "Do not judge" is not some blanket statement that we make in our efforts to pat others on the back and make them feel okay about their sin. The bible tells us to tell our other sisters and brothers in LOVE. So if a proclaiming Christian is living a certain way, it's okay to be God-led to pull her or him aside and talk with them. Even if they reject what you have to say-- doesn't mean you stop correcting. 

Even if that means you say after praying to the Lord about it, "sis, you know I love you, please don't get upset with me but-- the guy your dating isn't saved. The bible tells us not to be unequally yoked. You used to be so on fire for God, but it's changed since you started dating him." Just make sure that while you're helping them sweep off their porch, that you've swept off your own in that area. You cannot be sleeping with your boyfriend-- keeping him in your bed every night but then trying to tell someone that they need to stop doing the same thing. How does that work?

 We must take our own advice. You ruin your witness when you're doing the SAME thing & preaching against it (and this is what the bible is saying, don't judge hypocritically). It seems like we ALWAYS have all this word for somebody else but all of the word we have for them, isn't working for us. If you've approached your sister in Christ about an area and she has decided to continue in her sin, then just PRAY for her. This doesn't mean you get mad at her or whatever else-- it means that you take her before God and CRY out to HIM on HER behalf. Ask yourself.. do you cry on behalf of your sisters or brothers sins or do you gossip about them? If your heart is pure in your approach-- you'll find that you'll get results.

 If you're talking DOWN to that person, you won't get anywhere. It's not in what you say but HOW you say it. So, be sweet when you do talk to that person. Remember that you're not GOD and if they reject you, know that they rejected Him first. At times, we just plant the seeds and it's GOD alone that waters them. If you have zero relationship with a person-- you cannot expect them to receive from you either. 

They aren't confident that you even know them well enough to speak into their life, on their situation and if you don't know them and you're trying to speak into their life its most likely because you're assuming which thus makes you unqualified to speak into their heart. Now, if you don't know the person.. and God tells you to do it--- DO it. Obey quickly. This isn't a formula for anything-- in everything we do, we should be God-led. 

So, instead of thinking of all the people you're going to correct tomorrow-- Go to the Lord and ask Him to correct and wreck YOU. We must be first humble & not self righteous in our approach. I have learned this in "correcting" people-- you cannot WANT that person to change MORE than they want to change. Remember this-- that if we really believed that prayer really works, why would we stop? 

So, the next time someone throws the word "judge" around, remember as Christians we are to righteously judge one another based on the truth of the bible-- unbelievers have already been judged as they live in darkness. Pray for their salvation instead of screaming at their sin.. they don't belong to the Father-- what else do you expect for them to do?